Burning Questions From The 2022 Oscars

Are the red carpet interviewers part of ABC's master plan to finally reach that younger demo for the show?

Judging from the opening, is the new strategy to turn this into the Grammys?

Was that a lot of green or what?

Should we just be grateful they didn't predictably start with a hosts making a silly entrance?

Do you remember hearing Beyonce's original song from King Richard before now? 

Are 3 hosts too many?

Didn't they have to address the category cutting controversy?

When are we going to find out who won Editing? 

Were you worried each host would have their own monologue?

Wasn't Amy Schumer's Don't Look Up jab pretty great?

Wasn't it completely true what she said about Sorkin somehow being able to make an unfunny movie about Lucille Ball?

Have we just found out where all this 'extra time' is going on the show?  

Was DeBose's win such a foregone conclusion that she didn't even seem surprised?

Did Regina Hall sell the hell out of that COVID testing gag or what?

So, guessing it's okay to joke about that now? 

What's Chamalet wearing?

Did anyone know it was the 30th Anniversary of White Men Can't Jump?

Feel old yet?

If not, will you by the time the show's over? 

Has the Dune technical sweep began?

Could they breeze by that Documentary Short announcement any faster?

But didn't it probably get more time than we expected?

True to her word, wasn't it cool Jessica Chastain attended that pre-taped ceremony? 

Were you waiting for security to escort the uninvited Rachel Zegler out of the building?

Did her bad week continue when she had to present with someone 15 feet taller than her?

Are you still in disbelief that Lily James played Pamela Anderson?

Does everyone remember where they were when...The Flash entered the speed force?

Didn't Dreamgirls seem really, really out of place on that superhero heavy list? 

Wasn't Wanda Sykes' segment with the great Tim Bagley at the Academy Museum by far the best skit of the night?

Where was the Flash entering the speed force exhibit?

How about Wanda's reaction to Hattie McDaniel's missing Oscar?

Did you immediately get chills from Youn Yuh-jung's reaction to Troy Kotsur's win?

And then that shot of the audience?

Between this and Dune's dominance, could things look any bleaker for The Power of the Dog? 

Isn't the music playing the winners up to the stage unusually good this year?

Hasn't the show been a lot more slickly produced than last year's debacle? 

How are we doing on time? 

Did Mila Kunis' speech mean we're not getting Zelensky?

Isn't that okay since he probably his hands full right now?

All things considered, aren't they handling the pre-taped awards segments fairly well?

Were you worried Dune would also win Costume Design and screw up everyone's predictions?

Weren't you relieved it didn't?

6 Oscars already for Dune?

Wanda Sykes as Richard Williams? 

Has Jennifer Garner aged in 15 years? 

Did you hear that ovation for Branagh's win?

Was that adapted screenplay loss to CODA the final nail in The Power of the Dog's coffin?

Isn't it kind of a miracle Minamata somehow finished third in the Oscar popular vote?

Was Rami Malek introducing that song in character as Lyutsifer Safin?

Didn't Billie Eilish's Bond theme sound better live than in the movie?

Did they just say "final exciting hour?"

Does that mean we're ending at 11:15?

Should I hold them to that?  

By that time, will Dune have won more Oscars than Titanic?

Must they announce a category winner the second after they return from break?

Isn't Ridley Scott just going to love Regina Hall's The Last Duel joke? 

Um, What the hell just happened with Will Smith and Chris Rock?

Wait, was that real?

Did Smith just open hand smack him across the face?

Over "G.I. Jane 2?" 

Does someone need to tell the Smiths that G.I. Jane features maybe the most badass bald woman in any movie?

Does this incident put the "Oscar streaker" to shame?

Was someone at ABC just instructed to sit on the censor button for 2 minutes straight?

Hasn't Smith taken this Richard Williams role a bit far? 

Should Williams now star in a movie about Smith?

Didn't you just know Chris Rock would make this show interesting and relevant again?

If that was staged, should both take home Oscars? 

Which was worse: The slap or look of smug satisfaction on Smith's face as he strutted off the stage?

Should someone tell him he's a week early for Wrestlemania?

Is it time to start worrying who they'll egregiously leave out of the In Memoriam montage?

Weren't there a huge amount of notable deaths this year? 

Wasn't that unusually upbeat music for an In Memoriam montage?  

Wasn't it a nice touch having Bill Murray and Jamie Lee Curtis appear?

Did they really omit Bob Saget?

If you thought the White Can't Jump Anniversary made you feel old, imagine how who those who grew up on The Godfather feel?

Has a year ever gone by when Diane Warren wasn't nominated for Original Song?

Not a question but...COSTNER! 

Did you see the audience hanging on his every word?  

Was Jane Campion mocking his heartfelt speech?

Well, at least The Power of the Dog won something...right?

Should Campion maybe avoid talking about the Williams sisters again during her acceptance speech?

At this point were you thinking that Will Smith's speech sure should be interesting?

28 years later, doesn't it still kind of sting that Pulp Fiction didn't win Best Picture? 

Were you expecting Will Smith to be tackled by security or police before reaching the podium?

A standing ovation...really?

Should Travolta and Jackson get ready to protect themselves? 

Can Smith's career ever recover from this?

Isn't that such a weird thing to say about someone who just won an Oscar?

Is he lucky that such a thing as consequences don't exist?

Should he be in jail instead of on that stage a second time?

And to think 24 hours ago the big concern was how "boring" the show could be?

Did Smith put to rest any lingering doubt that the incident could have been staged the second he got up there and started talking?

Was that the longest acceptance speech in Oscar history?

Did you notice they wouldn't dare play him off? 

Did all that early promise the show would end at a decent time just evaporate in front of our eyes?

Hopkins was right. Smith sure said it all, didn't he? And then some.

Hey, if they strip him of the Oscar will that compromise my near-perfect Oscar prediction score this year?

Wasn't it the biggest relief to see Jessica Chastain up there after all that? 

Wasn't Gaga great in how she helped and guided Liza Minnelli?

Was CODA's Best Picture win completely overshadowed or what?

How about those Oscar ratings NOW? 

If this doesn't raise them, will anything?

Then again, 3 hours and 40 minutes?

Can Chris Rock host next year?

Spiral: From the Book of Saw

Director: Darren Lynn Bousman
Starring: Chris Rock, Max Minghella, Marisol Nichols, Samuel L. Jackson, Dan Petronijevic, Richard Zeppieri, Patrick McManus, K.C. Collins, Zoie Palmer
Running Time: 93 min.
Rating: R

★★★ (out of ★★★★)

When news broke a couple of years ago that Chris Rock had an idea to revitalize the struggling Saw franchise so promising that Lionsgate immediately signed off, interest was piqued. Much of that anticipation stemmed not only from the actor/comedian's direct involvement, but the bewilderment of what could possibly resuscitate a franchise that already blew its shot at rebirth with 2017's underwhelming Jigaw. Far from the "reboot" fans were promised, it only delivered more of the same, doing little for a series that remained on life support, straying so far from the series' initial intent that it became unrecognizable. 

Trampling over the simplicity of James Wan's thrilling 2004 original were a string of neverending sequels that each tried to top the body counts, gruesome traps, and superfulous law enforcement characters of its predecessors. And by prematurely killing off its main villain, everything then became about the gore, revolving around scenarios that were unnecessarily disgusting rather than clever, existing solely for shock value. It didn't even start as a horror franchise, but rather devolved into the worst kind of one, becoming at least partially responsible for introducing the term "torture porn" into the cultural lexicon. 

Now, after a year-long delay, Saw II, III and IV director Darren Lynn Bousman is back at the helm for Spiral, a spin-off that ends up being the best entry since he left. So while I'm still unsure about any new idea for the franchise including more law enforcement and copycat Jigsaws, it does fit the story this time and jumps off the page as a big improvement over most of the sequels. For once, the traps feel in service of the screenplay rather than the other way around and it doesn't look like it was shot in a septic tank, even featuring scenes that take place in actual daylight. With a pacing and style that deviates considerably from what's come before, it gets a fresh enough coat of paint while retaining just enough original elements to satisfy hardcore fans. 

Det. Ekekiel "Zeke" Banks (Rock) is an unpopular, insubordinate police officer assigned by Capt. Angie Garza (Marisol Nichols) to investigate the brutal death of his friend and colleague, Det. Marv Bozwick (Dan Petronijevic), who was hit by an oncoming train while chasing a perpetrator off-duty. Vocal in his complaints about the inner workings of the department, Zeke's begrudgingly assigned a new rookie partner for the case named William Schenk (Max Minghella), as both officers quickly realize the odd circumstances surrounding Bozwick's death point to a potential Jigsaw Killer copycat. 

With tapes and clues leading the way and a climbing body count, it becomes obvious the murderer is exclusively targeting corrupt cops, something Zeke knows about all to well, having snitched on his dirty co-workers years ago while serving under his father, the now-retired chief Marcus Banks (Samuel L. Jackson). Presently a pariah on the force and attempting to fix the fractured relationship with his dad, Zeke's struggling to stay a step ahead of the mysterious killer, whose motivations may cut deeper than anyone expected.

What's most noticeably different from the previous Saw films is how this looks. It still has that grungy, basement-dwelling aethetic but at least we're not watching something that seems to have been filmed in complete darkness. At points, the daylight scenes (itself an anomaly for this franchise) even look fairly slick, heightening the visual impact when the darker trap scenes eventually do arrive. And despite how they're shot and edited not differing all that much from the series norm, it doesn't feel as if we're being bombarded by too many of these gory sequences for no reason, which had long ago emerged as the series' biggest problem. 

Co-writers Josh Stolberg and Peter Goldfinger gradually build the story to each trap with Bousman judiciously spacing them out enough so that audience fatigue doesn't set in. Of course, there's the usual problematic irony that these victims don't really have much of a "choice" at all in these torture devices, unless you count perishing in two different, equally grisly ways as a selection. But it helps that there's at least a solid narrative foundation in place this time, as the plot follows a tight, linear path in which each clue leads to the next in a logical manner unseen since the franchise's infancy. 

Criticisms this all plays like a police procedural are valid, but also hardly worth complaining about since it's done well and the one thing this series desperately needed was that kind of straightforward structure to stay on course. Compared to its predecessors, this is practically a downright restrained character study in terms of the buddy-cop relationship that develops between frequently aggravated Zeke and his idealistic young partner. It feels very Training Day or Se7en, which helps in further solidifying that the characters actually have some agency here.

A dark departure from the roles he's known for tackling, Rock's casting is exactly what the entry needed, with the actor bringing a cutting, humorous edge that becomes invaluable to the dour proceedings. Combine that with Samuel L. Jackson's fiery intensity as a character with constantly questionable motives and you have a a pretty gripping dynamic throughout. It was always fun speculating how unexpected bigger name stars could acquit themselves a Saw movie and this is definitely the closest we've come, with better than anticipated results.

That Tobin Bell's John "Jigsaw" Kramer only appears in some newspaper clippings and gets a passing mention is the right call in terms of the story being told. As much as Bell's creepy performance provided the only worthwhile element in so many uneven sequels, we desperately needed a break if his only function is to be misused in flashbacks. Due to the machinations of this particular plot, the iconic pig head takes center stage in both the clues and recorded video form, with Billy The Puppet nowhere around, perhaps being saved for a future sequel. That's fine, but what's missed most is Bell's unmistakable voice, as his generic replacement sounds more like a nagging granny than a sinister serial killer. Of all the changes made, this is probably the only big miss, albeit one producers would try to explain away as starting anew with a fresh slate. With the series stuck in such a rut, it's an admirable approach, but they could have at least thought to electronically alter the voice to sound scarier and more threatening.  

Even for those who will claim to have seen the big twist at the end coming, the payoff's still no less effective. In fact, it's easily the most rewarding Saw finale in years in how it manages to cover all its bases, invoking genuine tension and excitement while returning the series to the moral complications it's initial premise was built on in 2004. The final minutes unfold as a bigger deal than we're used to,  with actual stakes. Supposedly, there are plans to spin this off into a TV series and given how everything shakes out, that actually doesn't seem out of the realm of possibility considering the format and style might lend itself well to that medium.

If the film's best moments recall Se7en and its worst recall previous Saw installments, there's relief in knowing what exists of the latter Bousman molds into something more digestable for the mainstream. For most horror franchises, that's a criticism, but this one went so far off the rails in abandoning the key tenets of its success that any change is welcome. A shot in the arm that puts story first, what Spiral means for the series moving forward is vaguer, but they could really be onto something by presenting these new films as standalones that aren't creatively beholden to all the inferior entries preceding it.       

Burning Questions from the 2016 Oscars

Odds on #OscarsSoLong trending by the end of the night?

Odds on when the "end of the night" will be?

After how poorly I did with last year's predictions, should I have just closed my eyes and pick names?

Wasn't that montage kind of great?

Am I just saying that because Room was so prominently featured?

"White People's Choice Awards?"

Wasn't Chris Rock right about previous years being just as much of a whiteout?

Didn't the crowd seem more receptive to Rock than they have been to any other recent host within the first few minutes?

Did he kill it with that monologue or what?

How about "Bittersweet Symphony" being played by the Oscar orchestra?

Couldn't Ryan Gosling's jokey description of qualifications for Best Adapted Screenplay actually apply to The Revenant?

The Oscar-winning writer/director of Anchorman?

So, we're going to do that thing again with inserting actors into movie clips?

But with black comedians?

Wasn't The Danish Girl with Tracy Morgan pretty funny? 

Did you forget for a second that Kristen Wiig was actually in The Martian?

Yeah, I got it, but wasn't that Stacey Dash thing weird anyway?

Sorry, but isn't Sam Smith Spectre theme completely forgettable?

Did you even recognize Sam Smith?

Isn't it nice that we can all remember that J.K. Simmons won Best Supporting Actor last year?

Isn't Supporting Actress consistently the most challenging category to get right each year?

Did you hear the collective groans of everyone getting it wrong?

Did you get the feeling Alicia Vikander wouldn't be the first winner played off during her speech?

Especially considering the pace they're moving at?

Wasn't that Oscar "scroll" at the bottom ridiculous?

Especially considering how infrequently it worked?

Didn't Mad Max really deserve to clean up in all those technical and craft categories?

Anyone else expect Margot Robbie to lecture us on the housing market and credit crisis?

So, was Jonah Hill in that bear costume?

Wasn't the Suge Knight gag funny?

Isn't it unreal Lubezki has won cinematography three years in a row?

And Deakins has now lost thirty in a row?

(Jack) Black History Month?

Get it, it's because no people of color were nominated this year?

Remember that year they really did attempt to explain the difference between Sound Editing and Mixing? 

Is this an impressive haul of statues (6!) for Mad Max or what?

Were you thinking The Revenant might be in trouble?

Ex Machina for visual effects?!

How great was it when they cut to Jacob Tremblay in the audience when the droids came out?

Was I the only one wondering what happened to C3PO's red arm?

Droids AND Minions?

Were you worried Mad Max would  take home Best Animated short?

Then beat Trump and Hillary?

Doesn't Pete Docter kind of resemble a Pixar character?

But doesn't he seem like a legitimately good guy?

Anyone worried they'd show clips of Fifty Shades of Grey during The Weekend's performance?

I can't be the only one who loved that rock, paper, scissors Android commercial with the St. Elmo's Fire song?

Shouldn't that have won Best Animated Short?

Aren't they beating this Oscar controversy humor into the ground?

Did you fall out of your seat when they announced Mark Rylance's name?

Were you too shocked to study Stallone's expression? 

Could you literally hear all the air being sucked out the room when Rylance spoke?

And you thought you had problems remembering Patricia Arquette won last year?

Did that screw up my ballot?

And Stallone's life?

And our night?

So, was it Escape Plan or The Expendables 3 that killed his chances?

Can Louis CK host next year?

Isn't it about time they made a joke at the expense of the Price Waterhouse guys?

Can anyone tell me what exactly Cheryl Boone Isaacs' said?

Was I the only one expecting her to lecture us on stealing music?

Or do I have this confused with another overlong awards show? 

Were you worried they'd scroll the In Memoriam across the bottom of the screen to save time?

Dave Grohl singing The Beatles?

But didn't he do a good job?

So wait, they had Jacob Tremblay present Live Action Short so they could make a short joke?

Were you worried Joe Biden's speech on sexual abuse would introduce Room rather than Lady Gaga's performance?

Remember when everyone thought her career was floundering?

Was that Biden's first scripted TV appearance since Parks and Rec?

So, did Lady Gaga appear on enough awards shows, and win enough awards, this year?

Did Oscar voters apparently think so?

Can you believe that Bond song won!?

And after THAT performance?

Weren't you relieved that Tarantino wasn't accepting the award for Morricone?

Do you think I envisioned Ali G introducing Room?

Too late to get Biden back up there?

Did we officially reach the end of the Fury Road when Iñárritu won Best Director?

Boy, did they play him off fast or what?

Was "Flight of the Valkyries" this year's Jaws theme?

Didn't that look like a big spoiler for Carol?

How upset would I be if they played Brie off?

Wasn't I relieved when they didn't have to?

Did you half-expect her to take Jacob Tremblay up there?

Not a question, but I just want to type, "Academy Award Winner Brie Larson."

Didn't that clip from Trumbo kind of play like a comic version of Breaking Bad, complete with a bathtub?

Was Leo up there before it was even announced?

Have you ever seen anyone get to a stage so fast?

Were you excited to hear about climate change?

Is Leo the rare star exempt from being played off? 

Spotlight...Best Picture??!!!!

Am I burning my Oscar ballot right now?

Everyone else must have missed that, right?

What was that I said about closing my eyes and just randomly picking winners?

Do you realize Michael Keaton has now starred in two Best Picture winners in a row?

So, is it too early to start predicting for next year?

Aren't you glad you stayed awake?

Wasn't that one of the more newsworthy shows in years?

Given all those upsets, should I just be glad Brie escaped the building with her statue?

So, did Chris Rock earn an invitation back?

Has any other recent host done as well?

Will everyone still look for something he did to complain about?

Wouldn't it be interesting to see how he'd do next year without such a hot-button controversy to play off of?

Grown Ups

Director: Dennis Dugan
Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Salma Hayek, Maria Bello, Maya Rudolph, Joyce Van Patton
Running Time: 102 min.
Rating: PG-13

★★★ (out of ★★★★)

Adam Sandler just can't seem to catch a break, can he? In last year's commercially unsuccessful dramedy Funny People he even made it a point to spoof the fact that everyone thinks he makes bad movies for big paychecks. And that's sometimes very true, but unforgiving audiences have so soundly rejected every attempt he's made to stretch out of his juvenile comfort zone, that's he's often left with little alternative. Except many of Sandler's comedies aren't bad at all and throughout his career he's always had a strong grasp on what's funny. Grown-Ups is vintage Sandler but with a slightly mellower and laid back twist and as is the norm with his work, it's better than it's being given credit for. With a comedic line-up consisting of Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade and Rob Schneider you could call it The Expendables of comedy (or a 90's SNL reunion) in terms of star power, except co-writer Sandler and director Dennis Dugan don't just gather the talent up and call it a day. While containing very little plot there's still a lot going on, but it's balanced well and boasts a sharper script than expected. More importantly, it succeeds in providing laughs all the way through without taking itself too seriously, allowing it to rank on the higher end of recent Sandler efforts.

Lenny (Sandler), Eric (James), Kurt (Rock) Marcus (Spade) and Rob (Schneider) are four childhood friends who fell out of touch but are reunited as adults when they hear about the recent passing of their junior high school basketball coach, "Buzzer" (Blake Clark) who led them to a state championship in 1978. His advice to them was to live their lives like they played the game but now as "responsible" adults it's clear that advice has flown over some of their heads, or at least they could use a healthy reminder. Lenny is a high-powered Hollywood executive married to famous fashionista, Roxanne (Salma Hayek) with whom he has two spoiled kids.  Eric is unemployed but lying about it as his wife, Sally (Maria Bello) still feels the need to breast feed their 5-year-old. Kurt is hen-pecked by his controlling wife, Deanne (Maya Rudolph) and constantly mocked by his mother-in-law who gets enough insults from him in return. Marcus is a lifelong bachelor who refuses to abandon his womanizing ways while eccentric vegan Rob is primarily concerned with pleasing third wife Gloria (Joyce Van Patten), who's over thirty years his senior. Now all reunited, Lenny rents the lake house for the Fourth of July weekend for the guys and their families, but saying the film consists of them  dramatically reassessing their life priorities wouldn't be accurate, which is a relief considering that was my main worry going into this.

Your level of tolerance for the four lead actors goes a long way in determining how much (or little) you get out of this, but despite sporting an unimpressive cinematic track record of late, are all surprisingly likable here and some (Schneider, Spade) are even the least annoying they've ever been. To the movie's advantage, the plot is an afterthought as the enjoyment comes in watching these guys just hang out and goof around. That seems like an insult but isn't when you consider the majority of the jokes and gross-out gags click in a big way and a potentially sappy message about "growing up" isn't rammed down our throats like it usually is.  Sandler's past the point where he can keep playing angry juveniles so this material finds a nice middle ground for his persona, allowing him to act like a relatively normal adult while still retaining the immature goofiness that's been his trademark. His pairing with Hayek  seems off-putting at first and they'll probably never be completely believable as onscreen spouses, but they still work surprisingly well together, or at least well enough for me to suspend disbelief and temporarily buy into it. Even the subplot with their spoiled kids who act like entitled adults plays just right in striking a timely chord without sacrificing any laughs. It was an interesting decision to cast fairly well known actresses in Hayek, Bello and Rudolph, filling supporting slots that aren't usually given the time of day, a tactic that pays off as potentially thankless wife parts come off feeling more important than they otherwise would. While the roles are predictably underwritten, they're at least sharply written and none of the actresses' talents are necessarily wasted, a small miracle considering this is a guy-driven comedy. Kevin James is the most likable (and maybe funniest overall) of the four, David Spade's suitably slimy and unlikable, a restrained Chris Rock gets some good digs in, and in the biggest surprise, Rob Schneider is not just funny in a movie, but at times borderline hilarious. His sub-plot carries the film and has some unexpected developments along the way. They're are also some smaller cameo appearances from Steve Buscemi, Colin Quinn, Tim Meadows and Norm MacDonald, most of which feel unforced and are actually funny.

Say what you wish about Sandler as an actor or comedian but he knows what's funny and also knows that when you're making a comedy, you're aiming to make audiences laugh and do little else. That should be obvious, but unfortunately too many "comedies" (namely Knocked Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and most recently Get Him to the Greek) try to go all sappy and dramatic and this comes dangerously close to skirting that line in the final act. Luckily, Dugan and Sandler seem to know this and pull back, even putting a somewhat unexpected twist on "the big game" at the end, finding the right tone that other writers and directors seem to be struggling with. Grown-Ups is fairly safe and predictable, and definitely doesn't reinvent the wheel in terms of comedy, but still fits nicely under the banner of his Happy Madison production company, which boasts more creative misses than hits, never quite recapturing the magic of his two most successful comedies that inspired that name. Grown Ups doesn't either and likely wouldn't hold up at all on a second viewing, but it's smartly written and made me laugh hard, which at least qualifies it as better than most of what's currently out there.