Transformers

Director: Michael Bay
Starring: Shia LeBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, Rachael Taylor, Anthony Anderson, Jon Voight, John Turturro
Running Time: 144 min.
Rating: PG-13

*** (out of ****)

I remember reading an interview with Michael Bay a while back where he said he didn't feel the need to apologize for making movies aimed at 14-year-old boys. Well, at least the guy's honest. Transformers is the quintessential Michael Bay movie, almost as if all the elements of The Rock, Pearl Harbor and Armageddon were combined and the volume was blasted even higher. If you hated him as a director before, you'll have about 500 more reasons to by the time this film is over. If you've enjoyed all, or even most of his films, you'll leave a very satisfied customer. Overindulgence runs rampant like never before as Bay is at his absolute best, or worst, depending on how you want to look at it. Except the difference this time is that he actually seems like he's in on the joke.

This is one of those huge summer movies you need to experience on the big screen. An experience I unfortunately didn't have. In a way I'm glad I didn't because while it would have been infinitely more fun, I'd be so dazzled by the film's amazing visual effects that I'd probably be more likely to overlook its flaws. The small screen doesn't lie and no movie should be completely dependent on its visual effects (no matter how impressive they may be) to get the job done. It needs a good story and characters you care about. Much to my surprise, this film has that. It's not without some problems, but it's a landmark in that it's the first Bay directed film that succeeds in creating a sense of wonder.

It seems almost comical that fans of the 1980's Hasbro toy line and cartoon series would be so upset that Bay, who by his own admission is not a fan of Transformers, would be directing it. There a lot of whining about how the robots should look (pretty cool it turns out) and how faithful he'd be to the story. When it was over, I couldn't imagine anyone who grew up on Transformers being disappointed by what we get here as it perfectly captures the spirit of Hasbro's franchise. If anything, those fans should thank Bay for taking material so inherently silly and making a good movie out of it.

The film begins with a voice-over from Optimus Prime, the leader of the herioic Autobots, telling us of the battle between his robots and the evil Decepticons, over a powerful cube known as the Allspark. The Decepticons' leader, Megatron discovered the Allspark years ago, but became frozen in ice attempting to retrieve it. The cube, along with the frozen Megatron, now reside in the Hoover Dam and are being protected by a secret government agency known as Sector 7. The coordinates of the Allspark's location are imprinted on the eyeglasses of Captain Archibald Witwicky, who with his crew of Arctic explorers in 1897 accidently stumbled upon the frozen body of Megatron. Now theses eyeglasses are in the possession of Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) who's trying to sell them on Ebay in hopes of earning enough money to buy a respectable first car. What he gets instead from his father is a crappy 1976 Chevy Camaro that won't get him very far in impressing school hottie Mikaela Banes (the appropriately named Megan Fox). Unbeknownst to Sam his new Camaro can transform into an Autobot named Bumblebee and he's been thrust into the middle of this epic battle. The Decepticons have landed on Earth, setting their sites on the cube, attacking a military base in Quitar and hacking into their computer system.

If the plot I've just described for you seems like the stupidest idea for a movie you've ever read, you're not far off the mark. The film starts problematically, taking a good half hour to 40 minutes to get going and is bogged down early with too much military mumbo jumbo. It's only when the story shifts to Sam's purchase of the Camaro Bumblebee and his relationship with Mikaela that business starts to pick up. There's a great scene early in the film where Sam gives her a ride home and all his clumsy attempts to put the moves on her are interrupted by Bumblebee, who he soon discovers, has a mind all its own.

When Sam does begin to realize the mystery and importance behind this car we witness something awe inspiring, a designation we're not used to assigning a Bay picture. When the Autobots do transform it's an incredible visual effect that will have you scratching your head wondering how it could even be accomplished. I've become so desensitized to CGI and huge special effects these days that it's rare anything show up onscreen that leaves me with my mouth wide open. This did. And it didn't look the slightest bit fake.

What's even more remarkable is that Bay and his crew managed to make all of these robots visually unique and easily identifiable, each complete with very distinctive personalities. We get know Bumblebee, Optimus Prime (voiced magnificently by Peter Cullen), Jazz, Ironhide and Ratchet as well, if not better, than any of the human characters in the film. Sam attempting to hide the Autobots from his parents is one of the funniest and most enjoyable scenes of any movie this year. Surprisingly, there are a lot of funny moments and inside jokes in the script and nearly all of them work.

Unfortunately, the movie loses steam whenever the military storyline takes over and the soldiers (played by Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson) fail to register at all. The less said about Jon Voight's performance as the Secretary of Defense the better. If the American Film Institute ever pays tribute to him (and I'm sure they will) I wouldn't start it off with clips of him in Transformers. But what I always liked about Voight is he's not afraid to take silly parts in fun mainstream movies where he can let loose giving great bad performances. He knows what kind of movie he's in and makes the most of it. But even the weak military storyline does have a couple of redeeming qualities with an enjoyable sub-plot involving signal detection expert Maggie Madsen (Rachael Taylor) aiding the Department of Defense. When she enlists the help of her hacker friend (played by Anthony Anderson), the results are hysterical, as he doesn't have the slightest clue what he's gotten himself into. Also helping to lighten the mood is John Turturro's bizarre, over-the-top take on Agent Simmons, the leader of Sector 7. Turturro's no stranger to playing funny weirdos, but this guy ranks up there. The character could be out of a Farrelly Brothers movie, yet it somehow provides a nice distraction and works.

The one important factor likely be overlooked and underappreciated in the film is Shia LaBeouf's performance, which is the glue that holds this entire story together. He's been compared to a young Tom Hanks and that comparison is actually very valid. He has a natural likeability onscreen that makes you want to root for him and is one of the few young actors around capable of acting goofy without crossing that thin line into annoyance. He has the most thankless job you could wish on any performer, having to act with and against these huge special effects, probably while Bay was screaming in his face the entire time.

The physical demands of this part are also unmatched and I was sore and tired just watching him. Whatever you think of LaBeouf as an actor you have to give the kid credit for really throwing himself into this role. When Megan Fox first appears the film makes a jump from being aimed at 14-year-old boys to being aimed at the entire male species. I could talk about her performance (which is fine by the way) but I have a feeling no one expects me to do that. You instead expect me to talk about how she's possibly the hottest actress to appear onscreen in the past decade and it was nearly impossible for me to focus on anything but her. I won't do that though. I'll restrain myself.

This may mark the first time an effective human relationship is at the center of a Bay film and the viewer actually wants to take a journey with the characters. Robert Orci and Alex Kurtzman's script, while not likely to be contending for screenplay honors at this year's Academy Awards, does have some depth to it and gives Bay the best material he's had to work with thus far in his career. It couldn't be easy working effective human characters into a full-length feature based on robot toys from the '80's and that difficult mission was accomplished rather creatively in this script.

The film's 144 minute running time flies by, but it's a shame Bay doesn't know when to say "when" during the visually amazing showdown at the end. It just seems to go on forever. This is a movie that could have really benefited from a couple of trims in the editing room, specifically in regards to the narrative exposition involving the military. Bay supposedly wanted that added to the script to beef up the film, which makes little sense considering it serves no purpose.

This is a very good movie that approaches greatness many times, but you have to wonder if Bay is even interested in making a great movie. We have other directors for that. It's clear he just wants to direct movies that are fun and rake in loads of money. It's easy to see why executive producer Steven Spielberg tapped him to helm it because no one (with maybe the exception of Spielberg himself) does a better job with this kind of material than Bay, whatever you may think of the guy. And I'm sorry, an endorsement from Spielberg counts for something in my book. Transformers is bombastic and empty-headed, but just about as much fun as you can hope to have watching a movie. When it was over I couldn't wait to see it again.