The Giver

Director: Phillip Noyce
Starring: Brenton Thwaites, Jeff Bridges, Meryl Streep, Cameron Monaghan, Odeya Rush, Alexander Skarsgard, Katie Holmes, Taylor Swift, Emma Tremblay
Running Time: 97 min.
Rating: PG-13

★★★ (out of ★★★★)

Fairly or not, Lois Lowry's 1993 Newbery Medal-winning children's novel, The Giver has been both credited and blamed for ushering in the emergence of a genre that's come to be known as "YA." That Jeff Bridges has been trying to get the film version going for so long that his father was originally attached to the role of the title character speaks volumes about Hollywood. When things are popular and making money an entirely new genre can emerge out of thin air, making previously overlooked material seem "hot." Now The Giver, a fairly challenging story no one would touch with a ten-foot pole for the past two decades, is suddenly a "Young Adult Franchsie Property." It's the same categorization that befell Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game, which was considered straight-up science fiction until producers realized it featured young characters. Between the controversy surrounding its author and the fact they were trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, box office failure was a near certainty. So plans to make the next Hunger Games or Divergent out of Lowry's more philosophically dense material is definitely cause for concern, especially considering its shared plot point of an oppressive, dystopian future. Surprisingly, or maybe accidentally, this doesn't happen.

Director Phillip Noyce has made a restrained, meditative picture primarily concerned with ideas, sharing more similarities with Pleasantville than any of the aforementioned titles, with ambition that often exceed its reach. Better yet, the material doesn't feel dumbed down or sanitized to attract a broader audience, as YA adaptations tend to (with the exception of last year's Catching Fire, which really did it right). You can't ask for more than that, even if something's missing. It could be some logic holes in the plot or the fact that the bottom kind of falls out in the last half hour, but at least those are respectable flaws any movie could have.

When people are given freedom of choice, they'll almost always choose wrong. That's the rationalization the Chief Elder (Meryl Streep) uses to govern a future society in which its citizens are indistinguishable from each other, all their emotions and memories vanquished. Everyone is the same race. The concepts of "family" and "love" don't exist. Homes are referred to as "dwellings," that are every bit as impersonal as the word implies. People aren't killed, but "released into elsewhere." The Receiver of Memory is the only community member possessing actual memories that are only used to advise the Chief Elder on decision-making and train the next Receiver. In a graduation ceremony where the community's children are ushered into adulthood with assigned jobs, Jonas (Brenton Thwaites) is chosen as the succeeding Receiver, set to be schooled by the man currently holding that position, The Giver (Jeff Bridges).

While his assigned, nameless parents (Katie Holmes and Alexander Skarsgard) are proud, taking this important position is a sacrifice for Jonas, who's ordered to keep this new knowledge to himself, even as it tears apart his childhood friendships with Fiona (Odeya Rush) and Asher (Cameron Monaghan). Now exposed to glimpses of the past both traumatizing and joyful, Jonas must decide whether the citizens of this sterilized future can handle the truth that their controlled utopia is really anything but. And whether it's his moral duty to enlighten them, despite the risks.

Whether the good is worth the bad is the central question the movie asks and the script, regardless of its faithfulness to Lowry's text, does go all in with those themes. But the big takeaway is the striking, crisply photographed black and white monochrome look of the community, impeccably lensed by cinematographer Ross Emery. The absence and eventual use of color does invoke literal and mostly positive comparisons to Pleasantville in that, besides looking sleek, it's actually functional and organic to the story. Even if the eventual incorporation of color is more gradual and less dramatically executed here, black and white's purpose in depicting a stark, washed-out world of boredom and sameness is similar. It's interesting to note that the 1998 film uses a colorless past to embrace the future while this does exactly the opposite.

The idea that our collective past informs our present, and without it, we're left with the nightmare depicted here, which is heady stuff, at least as far as YA goes. It's ironic that the opening hour, in which we're introduced to this bland, anemic society is the most exciting part of the film and far more entertaining than when the stakes are supposedly raised later. Far from being phoned in, it's an intricate and fully realized world, containing some elements that bare more than a passing resemblance to Fahrenheit 451. Jonas' training is the centerpiece, as he's slowly exposed, through The Giver, to a past the rest of his community has been  "protected" from. War. Death. Love. Snow. Sleds. It's what he chooses to do with this knowledge, The Giver's motivations for sharing it, and the Chief Elder's reaction, that forms the conflict, threatening to finally awaken this society from its cultural hibernation.

By the very nature of its concept, the film isn't heavy in the romance department, using Jonas and Fiona's relationship to make a larger point about how their society suppresses emotions. That their deepening bond is an integral ingredient to the script rather of a sideshow distraction to reel in teen audiences is a relief and a credit to the likability of the leads. While strangely not a prerequisite for these roles, neither exactly oozes charisma, and even with the ages bumped up considerably from the novel, 25 year-old Thwaites is still a bit old for the part. But he makes it work and is easy to root for, as is Rush. Both are kind of upstaged by their co-stars, which makes sense considering those co-stars are Jeff Bridges and Meryl Streep. A bearded, warbling Bridges shares the most rewarding scenes opposite Thwaites, literally and figuratively giving color to a Giver that plays as the Dude crossed with his aging Flynn from TRON: Legacy.

One of the big highlights is a brief flashback entailing the disaster involving the Giver's disastrous training of the previously chosen Receiver, Rosemary, who's played by Taylor Swift in a cameo that lasts about a minute. Given her massive media exposure, it's a feat in itself her presence isn't an unwanted distraction that takes you out of this. Rather, the nature of the role does really suit her and Noyce wisely avoids testing just how much she can handle. From a thematic standpoint the part is actually important and you're left wanting more Taylor, which was smart.

Streep is perfectly cast as this authoritative figure and overlord of the society, even if the writing of her character eventually becomes a little cartoonish when she evolves into a sneering villain. Holmes and Skarsgard are given the difficult, but fascinating jobs of playing emotionless robots, which is sure to incite a bunch of jokes about those actors I don't necessarily agree with. An ice cold Holmes scarily slips into this disturbing dystopian "mother" role, frequently lecturing the kids on their word usage while Skarsgard is at the center of a shockingly dark and disturbing scene that really opens the flood gates of the story. With this intact I'm kind of amazed the movie escaped with a PG-13, as a good case can be made the MPAA has slapped films with an "R" for less. But at least this shows that everyone involved in this project took it seriously, rarely shying away from unsavory aspects to the material that could have easily been brushed under the rug.      

At a certain juncture in The Giver you realize it's gone as far as it wants and rest of the narrative will consist of checking off boxes and marking time. The last act is such a foregone inevitability that's it's really easy to just bail out and lose interest. Considering everything that came before, I was prepared to expect to unexpected, and while what we get is fitting and visually beautiful, it's certainly not surprising. The one big question bothering me was why this society even bothers having a Receiver. Isn't it too much of a risk? While their stated purpose is to advise the community, this seems like a lot of trouble to go through and too much temptation put on the plate of whomever is chosen to make it worth their while. But even that might be reading too much into it, as this is a great effort that comes close to transcending the genre's limitations by virtue of its big ideas.

How I Met Your Mother (Season 7)

Creators: Carter Bays and Craig Thomas
Starring: Josh Radnor, Jason Segel, Cobie Smulders, Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan
Original Airdate: 2011-2012

★★ ½ (out of ★★★★)

How I Met Your Mother isn't the first sitcom to have its eventual end date up in the air as it heads into the final stretch, but that fact probably provides little to comfort the writers, who you'd figure would be scrambling right now. After a near-flawless first four seasons, and two more almost as excellent, for the first time in its run, HIMYM is starting to show its age. Seven years in, that's more than understandable, and while it might be a bit harsh to say it's "jumped the shark," it's definitely treading water and the fin is visible. Perhaps I'm guilty of glossing over some of the minor issues with Seasons 5 and 6 in lieu of praising all that went right earlier, but now those creative hiccups are now starting to become a big deal. The biggest of which is a previously uneven storyline reappearing, causing logic and humor go out the window in favor of pandering to fans. It's not so much what happens or doesn't this season, but how creators Carter Bays and Craig Thomas mishandle it. Characters in situation comedies have to grow and as they do it isn't uncommon for the creative direction of the series to suffer both inevitable and avoidable growing pains, and that's never been more evident than during this season, which is easily its weakest yet. They may still get over that hump and go out strong but they've officially made some head-scratching choices before possibly getting there.

What's funny is that in interviews Bays and Thomas have both strangely cited Lost and Breaking Bad as narrative influences on how they mapped out this season, which I'd assume refers to confounding viewer expectations on how the characters' journeys will play out. Unfortunately, there isn't a surprise or risk to be found and there aren't even as many laughs as usual. And after what's at least a somewhat promising start to the season, it all comes crashing down, concluding with a disappointingly predictable and anticlimactic finale. That's not to say the season doesn't still have its moments (mainly in the first half), but that's mostly due to the five leads who could probably make a live reading of the phone book seem funny and interesting. Luckily, they have material a bit meatier than that and one actor has a career episode that's easily the highlight of these uneven 16 and should go down as one of the more emotional arcs of the series. But the show is otherwise spinning its wheels, seemingly just killing time until the clock runs out.

After losing a bet, Barney is forced to wear "The Ducky Tie"

When we last left the gang Season 6 had opened and closed with a flash-foward revealing that lovelorn, soulmate searching protagonist Ted Mosby (Joshn Radnor) finally meets The Mother of the show's title the day of a wedding sometime in the near future. Unsurprisingly, the womanizing Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) is revealed to be the groom in that season's final minutes, leaving only the question of whom his bride could be and exactly how Ted will meet the woman of his dreams. That I feel completely comfortable revealing that Barney's bride is Robin (Cobie Smulders) without even so much as an accompanying spoiler warning should give you an indication of how much of a surprise it is. Yet her identity is strangely presented as a shocking mystery almost on par with the eventual reveal of The Mother. And it's fine that it's unsurprising and even that it feels like the wrong choice creatively, but if it's the expected outcome, why present it as a big secret? So right off the bat, the entire season carries a sense of purposelessness as we know whatever relationships Barney and Robin embark on will fail so they can end up together. Season 7 is all about keeping them and Ted busy until the big wedding day, which will presumably occur at the end of the eighth season, which may be the series finale. Marshall (Jason Segel) and Lily (Alyson Hannigan) are also tied up as they prepare for the birth of their baby and try out suburban life by moving out to Long Island.

This might be the first season where these five friends don't feel like a unit. I'm sure the argument the writers would make is that as the characters get deeper into their thirties, mature and take on greater responsibilities, it's only natural that they'd grow apart somewhat. But did it have to be done in such a manufactured, uninspired way? As much as the character of Ted often catches flak as the show's weakest link, it was only after seeing him relegated to the sidelines in favor of Robin and Barney, that I came away with a new appreciation of how his quest and Radnor's self-aware performance has anchored the series up to this point.. There's hardly a yellow umbrella to be found this season, but there are two new characters serving as romantic placeholders for Robin and Barney until they rediscover their feelings for one another. The worst of whom is Robin's court appointed therapist-turned-boyfriend Kevin, who's drably played by NPH's Harold and Kumar co-star Kal Penn in what's easily the series' least successful guest starring arc. And that's being kind. Penn (usually a good actor) barely even seems present in scenes and Kevin's entire relationship with Robin is about as exciting as watching paint dry since the character isn't given a single personality trait outside of just simply being a normal, boring dependable guy who isn't Barney. But what's worse is that he's somehow indoctrinated as an honorary member of the core five and even sharing a seat with the gang at MacLaren's for what feels like the entire first half of the season.

Barney and his new stripper girlfriend Quinn (guest star Becki Newton)

Robin's relationship with Kevin is doomed from the get-go, but boy does it take a long time getting there as every humorless episode spent with this guy slowly sucks the life out of the show. Becki Newton fares slightly better as Barney's new stripper girlfriend Quinn, but it seems like a creative step back after his relationship with Nora (Nazanin Boniadi) in Season 6 explored dimensions to the character we didn't know existed. But of course she was too likable so the writers had to get rid of her, which is emblematic of the entire problem with the show right now. Bays and Thomas seem determined to go the Barney/Robin route at all costs, regardless of whether it's the right choice or not. And it may be, but they've yet to supply a reason why, especially considering their initial pairing directly resulted in a creative rough patch for the show in Season 5. They still have a season (and maybe more) to sell this relationship and come up with some funny twists and surprises but thus far it's definitely feeling like a Ross/Rachel situation from Friends. Something being done to please rabid fans who care about nothing other than the two major characters ending up together. This is how all sitcoms get into trouble toward the end of their runs, with showrunners writing for the fans instead of the characters.  NPH and Smulders obviously work extremely well together so it's no fault of theirs, but it'll be interesting to see if the characters' bond translate into any kind of romantic chemistry since that's always been lacking. Even Ted seemed to have more of a connection with her.

We already know that none of Ted's relationships will work until he meets The Mother and now we know that none of his friends' will either. The inevitability of his situation is understandable since that's the show's hook, but now we know a whole other outcome, so the writers made double work for themselves since they'll have to make the "how" of Barney and Robin's eventual union interesting too. Ted's quest to find "The One" is really pushed to the sidelines this season in favor of this as his only true story arc comes with the surprising return of one of the show's most beloved characters, ex-girlfriend Victoria (Ashley Williams). Her brief comeback in what's arguably the season's best episode, "The Ducky Tie," is a welcome one that also feels essential in moving Ted toward being ready to meet The Mother. If there's one thing all longtime viewers of the series can agree on, it's that Victoria is the closest to being a perfect match for him and that Williams has always been delightful in the role. That storyline doesn't feel manufactured, nor does Ted's desire to sort out his still lingering feelings for Robin.

There's also the payoff to an infamous Season 1 flashback as we meet the infamous "Slutty Pumpkin" character Ted fell for on Halloween in 2001 but never saw since. Short of The Mother, it's about the only major reveal the show still had up its sleeve and they definitely deliver a huge name with guest star Katie Holmes, who couldn't disappoint if she tried, despite playing a character who's supposed to be a big disappointment. The actual execution of the episode, "The Slutty Returns," feels a bit off, and becomes another example of the writers just not knowing what they have, as most sitcoms would be lucky to have Katie for a cameo, much less an entire episode. They get her for an entire episode, she does really well, and yet they still somehow make it seem inconsequential. It also begs the question that with all the guest stars who have lined up to date Ted Mosby, are there any suitable actresses even left to play the show's title character?

Guest star Katie Holmes as "The Slutty Pumpkin"

Having already exhausted Sarah Chalke, Mandy Moore, Danica McKellar, Rachel Bilson, Jennifer Morrison and more in extended guest arcs, it seems as if they've burned through every satisfying Mother candidate possible, in addition to setting the bar really high. And now after crossing Katie Holmes off the list of potential candidates, you have to wonder who can measure up to Ted's (and viewers') now impossibly high expectations. Of course, that's working under the assumption fans still care who the The Mother is, or even did to begin with. Some don't, which is understandable. The show really isn't "about" that anyway and you certainly couldn't blame Ted's future kids for not caring anymore after listening to their father ramble on for hours about all the women he slept with before meeting their mom. But I'd counter that to argue the eventual reveal is more important now than it ever was considering Bays and Thomas seem to have given everything else away. There may be few other surprises left, but as ridiculous as the wait's been, it's still the one major series-long story arc they haven't botched. Of course, all that could change when she's introduced, as the pressure shifts from the writers to whomever is given the honor (burden?) of playing the coveted role. If one thing's certain it's that this definitely wouldn't be the time for the big name stunt casting they've been so fond of throughout the series' run. Contrary to popular opinion, the best approach would be to save her for the end and get it over with quickly, as to avoid the potential prolonged disappointment of seeing their relationship not play out to expectations. Assuming they cast the right actress and the writing's strong enough to support her, there's no reason it can't be done effectively in the last episode.
            
Given Jason Segel's rapidly increasing film commitments over the past year or so, it comes as little surprise that Marshall and Lily see a a bit less face time this season, although I definitely wasn't expecting them to be displaced from the group altogether. The show's always been at its weakest when the writers try to "spin off" one or more of the characters and introduce different settings. It's fairly obvious early on that the Eriksens in the suburbs just isn't going to take so the whole storyline becomes a matter of sitting through a bunch of plot contrivances and forced humor until the characters realize it. In a way, this is a compliment since these five actors work so well together that having two of them suddenly take leave for a while it becomes crippling. Luckily, this is realized by the end of the season, but not until we've had to sit through the clumsy housewarming episode, "The Burning Beekeeper," which plays with time and location to tell what feels like a complicated, extended joke lacking a punchline. There's also so much of guest star Chris Elliot as Lily's selfish, board game creator dad Mickey that he may as well have been bumped up to a series regular. He's funny in small doses, but the character gets grating after a while, especially since we know the redemptive arc that usually accompanies each of his appearances.

Episode 7.15 ("The Burning Beekeeper")

With Marshall finally leaving the GNB boardroom behind to pursue his dream of practicing environmental law, guest star Martin Short comes aboard as his new boss, the kooky Garrison Cootes. But as strange as it seems, I actually miss Marshall dealing with the corporate drudgery associated with his old job, as that contrast often resulted in some really great moments. Who can forget his encounters with "Artillery" Arthur (Bob Odenkirk), his visits to Barney's office, or him walking out of the company bathroom with a magazine and a giant grin on his face as his co-workers looked on in disgust. The brilliant sixth season episode "Natural History" expertly foreshadowed Marshall's eventual change in career direction, but as is often the case in sitcoms, once a character actually gets what they want, things can suddenly become a lot less interesting. In fact, there's such a lack of work-related scenes this season for everyone you'd be forgiven for assuming they're all unemployed. This is especially true for Ted, who hasn't had a workplace scenes in about two years. Is he still teaching architecture?  What about that GNB building he's designing? This may seem like nit-picking, but seemingly minor stuff like this really helps flesh out the show's universe, giving the series a season-to-season consistency and providing viewers with a greater long-term investment in its characters.

The less said about the messy two-part finale, "The Magician's Code," the better. Besides featuring the birth of Baby Marvin "Waitforit" Eriksen and an eventually pointless proposal, they squander all the goodwill Victoria brought at the season's start by bringing her back under circumstances so ill-conceived I almost mistook it for a dream sequence. It pains me to say Season 7 is the series' most uneven yet because even with all its flaws it's still more enjoyable than just about any sitcom on the air and I wouldn't dare consider jumping ship before it reaches its conclusion, whenever that may be. Better news is that it's still capable of producing surprises and laughs with emotional episodes like "Symphony of Illumination," which shockingly delivers the news that Robin can't have children and features Cobie Smulders' all-time best performance. At this point it seems most of the notes the show is hitting have been dramatic rather than comedic, which is expected as everything starts to wrap up. What's even more certain is that HIMYM needs to end soon.

Robin receives shocking news in "Symphony of Illumination"

It's understandable CBS wants to squeeze every last dime out of a show still producing tremendous ratings this late in the game and go nine seasons, but creatively that decision is suicide. The current eighth season should be its last, if not for fans, than for the five enormously talented actors who have carried the show for almost a decade, and deserve opportunities to move on and test the water with different projects (especially Radnor and Smulders, who've spent their entire careers on it). We're rapidly approaching the point where the series will wear out its welcome, so here's hoping this increased sense of urgency will inspire Bays and Thomas to step up and pull out all the stops. If there's any consolation, it's that some of TV's finest finales weren't originally conceived as such, with their writers having to make split decisions under the gun, as the possibility of another season still hanged in the air until literally the last second. They say they're going ahead and writing the eighth as if its last and this year's flash-forward heavy premiere certainly confirms that tactic. We now know exactly the "when" and "where" of Ted meeting The Mother. All that's left is the "how" and the "who." And seeing how everything else ties into it. Will the show continue after that? I hope not. But here's hoping they can get there without any more filler and the series can be given the send-off it truly deserves.  

Jack and Jill

Director: Dennis Dugan 
Starring: Adam Sandler, Katie Holmes, Al Pacino, Eugenio Derbez, Tim Meadows, Nick Swardson
Running Time: 91 min.
Rating: PG

★★ (out of ★★★★)

It's usually bad practice to go into a movie with your fingers crossed that it won't be as bad as everyone's saying. But when that movie's the Razzie-nominated Jack and Jill I can be forgiven. And that's coming from someone who really likes Adam Sandler. So much that at the risk of losing whatever credibility I'd built up as a critic I actually recommended the likes of You Don't Mess With Zohan, Grown Ups and, more recently, Just Go With It.  If you stopped reading now I wouldn't blame you, but those films, despite signaling a disappointing direction for his career, were mildly enjoyable, if not anywhere near the disasters most critics made them out to be. This is another story. While Jack and Jill's still maybe not quite as bad as you've heard (though it's really close), it represents a new low for frequent Sandler collaborator and Happy Gilmore director Dennis Dugan. But what's more alarming is that for the first time Dugan doesn't even seem to be trying and I've actually liked most of his stuff. Everyone's going through the motions of a one-joke premise, even as I continue holding out hope Sandler's career choices are some kind of elaborate social experiment or practical joke on the ticket-buying public. But I'm probably being too optimistic.

What we have is the shell of Sandler comedy hiding behind the thin conceit of ( and it hurts to say this) an Eddie Murphy movie. This time he's Jack Sadelstein, an advertising exec who lives in L.A. with his beautiful wife, Erin (Katie Holmes) and two kids Sofie (Elodie Tougne) and Gary (Rohan Chand). Jumping right into things with practically no set-up and seconds after a somewhat inspired opening credit sequence, Jack's needy and annoying twin sister Jill (also Sandler) arrives from New York to spend Thanksgiving with them. Needless to say she's a nightmare and initially a major distraction for Jack in attempting to land Al Pacino (Al Pacino) for a big Dunkin' Donuts commercial spot. At a Lakers game (featuring an unfunny cameo from Johnny Depp who seems weirder as "himself" than any eccentric character he's played), Pacino develops a crush on Jill. Seizing the opportunity, Jack realizes this infatuation may not be such a bad thing, but most choose between his career and the feelings of his boisterous, insecure twin with whom he shares an uneasy love/hate bond. 

With this outing Sandler has now finally released a full-blown, feature-length version of one of those fake bad comedies his character from Funny People starred in with the only difference being he doesn't seem in on the joke this time. It does have its moments, like a couple of great lines delivered from Jack's adopted Indian son and a funny running gag about how Jill can't remember famous movie titles. And even in dreck like this Sandler proves he's a substantial talent who deserves better and can deftly handle both roles, even impressively playing Jack pretending to be Jill in one sequence. The problem is everything else related to Jill, who's too annoying for anyone to root for, which makes Dugan's inexplicable attempt to deliver a warm-hearted family comedy seem that much more delusional. Obviously, she's supposed to be a pain but that doesn't make it any less brutal or repetitive for audiences who have to watch Sandler prove its capable to irritate audiences for 91 minutes, then backtrack and try apologizing. Equally uninspired are the myriad of celebrity cameos than have become a staple in all his films but this time seem more unnecessary than usual. In addition to the aforementioned Depp, are appearances from Christie Brinkley, Shaq, John McEnroe, Jared Fogle, Bruce Jenner, Dan Patrick, Billy Blanks, Dana Carvey, Rob Schneider, Norm MacDonald and Drew Carey. Stuff like this can work in small doses to create well-timed laughs (as they have in past Sandler vehicles) but when there's a cameo a minute just to show off, its novelty wears off fast.

One person who definitely isn't relegated to a cameo is Al Pacino, who's featured in so many scenes it's a wonder he didn't get top billing over Sandler. I'll give him this though: He doesn't phone it in. While Pacino's recent career slide is often compared to that of his contemporary Robert De Niro, at least Pacino has some degree of self-awareness and commits to making each new trainwreck he stars in more entertaining than it has any right to be. He's justifiably been singled out as the best thing in this and the actual Dunkin Donuts commercial is a hoot, but after a while even his presence starts to seem like too much of a good thing. Dugan beats a good joke into the ground, slathering crazy Pacino all over the film to the point of overload when it would have been more effective to just pick the right spots.

Most bothersome to me is the idea of Sandler and Katie Holmes co-starring in a film together and this being the result. As a huge longtime fan of both performers there's no advance buzz bad enough that could have dissuaded me from wanting to see them together as onscreen spouses (and I still say a great comedy or drama could come from the pairing). A welcome presence in any film, the lovely, talented Holmes isn't given a whole lot to do as Erin besides sweetly support and encourage Jill while her husband does the exact opposite. She's essentially playing the perfect wife which, come to think of it, is actually pretty good casting. Her petrified reactions to the insanity sometimes create (un)intentional laughs, like when she's attacked by an in drag David Spade. While I wish she had more to do it's likely no one will remember her or anyone besides Sandler and Pacino were in this, which might be a blessing since the former should deservedly take the blame for also producing it.
   
I'm not sure Sandler thinks there's a problem here or he if he even cares. He's clearly settled into an auto-pilot mode of making these bankable family-friendly comedies but the formula's become worn and predictable, with the poor box office returns for this indicating audiences may finally be catching on. If he isn't careful he'll soon head into that dreaded Eddie Murphy territory, which would be a shame considering the talent he's previously shown when his strengths are highlighted with the right material.  But what's become increasingly frustrating with these Sandler films is how much wussier each one gets. If he wants to make more family-oriented movies as he gets older that's understandable, but why can't they be smart? Or if he wants to continue cashing big paychecks for low brow comedies that's fine also. But at least extend us the courtesy of making them angry and R-rated, minus a sappy message the film doesn't earn. Either way, playing it safe just doesn't suit him.

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark

Director: Troy Nixey
Starring: Katie Holmes, Guy Pearce, Bailee Madison, Jack Thompson
Running Time: 99 min.
Rating: R

★★★ (out of ★★★★) 

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark does a lot right and gets one thing wrong. But the thing that goes wrong will be all everyone wants to talk about when it's over, which isn't completely fair. Having not seen the 1973 ABC made-for-television horror movie that scared Guillermo del Toro enough as a kid to want to produce this remake, I'll guess it's probably more frightening this version, only because I imagine it did less. With a much smaller budget the filmmakers would have no choice. And that's the advantage the older horror movies will always have over their newer counterparts: Age. Anything older tends to look and feel scarier because of the lower production values, while anything newer just inherently looks slicker and therefore less threatening. This remake impresses with how it uses mood and atmosphere to sidestep that problem, fumbling only when it goes for too much. You'd never know from the advertising that Del Toro didn't actually direct this but his fingerprints are clearly all over it, to the point where I occasionally questioned whether his involvement helped. It's frustrating when a movie just needs to pull back and do less to get more because that problem seems so easily correctable. Still, it's a welcome throwback that doesn't feel exactly like your average modern horror movie and the two lead performances carrying it are phenomenal. They're sure to be as underrated and overlooked as the talented actresses giving them, one of whom is back on track in a major way. The rest of the movie is okay too. But it's just okay, when it had the tools to be great.

After a creepy prologue taking place in the early 1900's, the movie flashes forward to the present when young Sally (Bailee Madison) is sent by her mother to live with her architect father Alex (Guy Pearce) and his new girlfriend Kim (Katie Holmes) in an old, large mansion they're redecorating in Rhode Island. Sad, over-medicated, and all but ignored by her workaholic dad, Sally fails to form much of a connection with Kim, instead spending her time exploring Blackwood Manor. She starts hearing voices from the basement, and after some investigating, unwillingly unleashes an army of Gollum-looking gremlins with razor sharp teeth and almost ridiculously distinctive facial features. They start to wreck havoc, targeting the property's caretaker (Jack Thompson), eating furniture and shredding clothes in hopes of finding a human sacrifice. Preferably a child. The biggest change from the original is making the protagonist a child instead of an adult, a good call considering nothing creates tension and terror like a child in peril. Guy Pearce has the most ludicrous role in the film and it's difficult to tell how much of that can be attributed to the writing, which practically necessitates his character be a dope, insisting everything's in Sally's head and accusing her of acting out for attention. A necessity from a story standpoint, but it's still feels like the normally reliable Pearce is reciting lines and collecting a paycheck. Or it could be that his co-stars are just so good.

The relationship between Kim and Sally carry the film and the performances from Holmes and Madison are outstanding. Precocious but never too cute, Madison makes her character seem sullen and desperately curious rather than just a merely a helpless victim, which is a nice change from the norm. Armed with her Polaroid camera as a weapon (the creatures don't like flashes) she goes on the offensive more often than not. A few years ago when Madison appeared in Brothers I wrote that the weak acting link was clearly Natalie Portman, completely miscast and unbelievable as a mother to her. I specifically suggested Katie Holmes would have been a far better choice and it feels good to be proven completely right, as Holmes really shines here opposite Madison in exactly the way Portman couldn't in that film. After wisely laying low for the past few years appearing in mostly small, independent films (notwithstanding the Kennedys miniseries she did an underrated job in) it's been a long time since she's anchored a mainstream release like this and boy is it great to have her back and firing on all cylinders, especially in a part playing to all her strengths. As Kim, she grows into the unfamiliar role of de facto step mom to this withdrawn child, overcoming her own past to become Sally's protector and the only adult she can rely on. With a mixture of strength, intelligence, sensitivity and warmth, Katie makes her the most likable character in the film, delivering a performance that should win over any doubters. She also makes a surprisingly effective scream queen, letting out a yell at the end of the film that would make Jamie Lee Curtis proud. If horror movies these days were better, I'd say she should appear in more of them, but since they aren't, she probably shouldn't. But this was a good step regardless. Though the bias media would never acknowledge it, Holmes has been clawing and scratching her way back lately, quietly making all the right choices to return to relevance as an actress.

While it's inevitable that at some point we have to see the creatures, many of the scarier scenes come before that, when Sally's alone and we see nothing. When the CGI creatures do show up there's no getting around the fact it seems to come too early and we get too much of them. They don't necessarily look "fake" per se (and I have no idea how their appearance differs from the original), but they are slickly rendered, which probably wasn't the best choice given the old school approach they've already taken with the material. Horror just might be the only the genre where a film's quality has an inverse relationship to the size of its budget. It seems the more money you spend the less authentic things seem to look and feel, and this is hardly the worst offender. In fact, it's rather conservative compared to others in that regard so that even this eventually does give in with the special effects is telling. But more fascinating than that is despite the film being helmed by first-timer Troy Nixey, I'm betting that decision was more than likely made by Del Toro, who (like Spielberg and Lucas) was probably so enamored with the technology that it never occurred to him that approach may not the best fit for this story. He's also obsessed with myths and fairy tales, which is fine, if it didn't lead to an over-explanatory library research scene Holmes is forced to save. Everything else Nixey does from a directorial standpoint in terms of creating suspense is so effective it's reasonable to believe a modern horror classic was within grasp if better decisions were made regarding the creatures and less work was put into making them look cool. Should they have shown them at all? That's the million dollar question. They probably should have, but not as much, and maybe left a little room open for the interpretation that this little girl might really be losing it. Just suggesting that possibility would be more terrifying than anything we're shown.    

Showing too much is a problem found in horror movies today that we'd never have to contend with in the 70's because they didn't have the budget to do that, and the films mostly benefited as a result. That said, despite the somewhat inexplicable "R" rating, this could hardly be considered a gore fest that trades in suspense for brutal kills. It still shows less than we're used to, relying mostly on atmosphere  to tell its story, giving it a kind of a throwback feel that puts it in a different league than most modern day horror. The ending is frustrating, but in a good way. It's never bad when you care enough about a character enough to actually get angry at their eventual fate. It makes the bond between the two main characters seem even more meaningful in retrospect.  For kids who accidentally stumble upon Don't Be Afraid of the Dark on cable in the middle of the night, it's probably just as likely as the original to cause nightmares for those who grew up with it. For adults, it'll be suspenseful and entertaining. It's hard not to appreciate the craftsmanship that went into in re-making this, while still wishing there was just a little less of it.

The Kennedys

Director: Jon Cassar
Starring: Greg Kinnear, Barry Pepper, Katie Holmes, Tom Wilkinson, Diana Hardcastle, Kristin Booth, Chris Diamantopoulos, Charlotte Sullivan, Serge Houde, Enrico Colantoni, Don Allison, Gabriel Hogan
Original Airdate: 2011

★★★★ (out of ★★★★)

The biggest news coming out of the controversial 8-part Kennedys miniseries that was scrapped by The History Channel, only to eventually find a home on the obscure ReelzChannel network (and now streaming on Netflix), is that it's every bit as controversial as you've heard and you'll completely understand why the Kennedy family wanted it squashed. Producer Joel Surnow's treatment of them recalls the creative liberties taken with Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network, in which the slandered subject (or in this case subjects) are dragged through the mud and pummeled, actual facts amplified to the max in order to bolster the narrative and make a larger thematic point. But in exposing and exaggerating their flaws Surnow does something remarkable by beating on them so badly that I actually walked away with greater respect for what they were able to accomplish as public servants in the face of all their personal demons, and found myself wanting to learn more. Enthralling and addictive, it's nearly impossible to watch only one episode without getting hooked and wondering how much is true.

If this miniseries is "trash" then call me a garbage picker because everything about the production, from the costumes to the period details to the performances, to the music and cinematography is top notch. It juggles multiple flashbacks with clarity and purpose, knowing exactly the right events to focus on, what to leave out, and when. It even has a wicked sense of humor, hilariously lampooning some major figures of the time. And as over-the-top as he goes, Surnow still wisely realized there was one section where it's imperative to show class and restraint and does. And in satisfying fans of salacious melodrama, history buffs, and biopic addicts like myself, it also won't disappoint anyone coming to this for the shock value of seeing Greg Kinnear and Katie Holmes in these iconic roles. Even the opening title sequence (scored to Emmy-winning composer Sean Callery's instantly classic theme) is a glorious throwback to '80's television that thankfully seems to never end, promising an American epic of unmatched suspense, intrigue and drama. And that promise ends up being fulfilled ten-fold in an under-appreciated masterwork of modern television better than just about anything you'll see released into theaters this year.

The first few episodes set up flashbacks depicting family patriarch Joseph P. Kennnedy, Sr. (Tom Wilkinson) as the driving force behind their tragedies and successes. After a series of ill-conceived political decisions destroy his relationship with President Franklin D. Roosevelt and squander his own potential Presidential run, he's forced to resign from his position as U.S. Ambassador to the United Kingdom in 1940. He lays all his hopes and dreams for a future Presidency on his favorite son, Joe Jr. (Gabriel Hogan) who, unlike his brother Jack (Greg Kinnear), is "going places." But when Joe Jr. tragically dies in the Air Force, Jack finds himself unwillingly passed the family torch and pushed to run Senate with younger brother Bobby (Barry Pepper) serving as campaign adviser. It's around this time he meets and marries Jacqueline Bouvier (Holmes), who's immediately made privy of his philandering ways.

Jack's presented early on as a screw-up incapable of filling his late brother's shoes and never measuring up in his father's eyes, which is understandable considering any hope for a balanced portrayal of Joe Kennedy either as a father, husband or sane human being are extinguished early with a portrayal that plays as a cross between Hitler and Darth Vader. He fudges medical records to get Jack into the military, bribes Jackie to stay with Jack, makes out with his secretary in front of wife Rose (Diana Hardcastle) cuts a deal with mob boss Sam Giancana (Serge Houd), threatens Frank Sinatra (Chris Diamantopoulos) and those are just the good things. The topper is when he comes up with the brilliant idea of getting his daughter Rosemary "cured" of her mental disability with this great new procedure he heard about called a lobotomy. Wilkinson's presence is so consuming in the first few episodes you'd think it was pilot for "The Tom Wilkinson Show" but that's okay since few are better at conveying blustery bravado and his performance only gets deeper with the nuanced re-evaluation of Joseph Kennedy that comes later when in his declining health he realizes that payback can truly be a bitch.

We're often guilty of holding our public figures, whether they're celebrities, elected government officials, or both, to the highest of standards. Whether we want to admit it or not we're still surprised  when gossip comes to the surface supporting the harsh reality that they're real people with flaws. What this miniseries excels showing is how a regular guy with little to no experience and zero interest holding the nation's highest office can if he has the connections and all the right cards fall into place. But that still doesn't mean he wants to or he'll necessarily do a good job. The implication seems to be that it takes a certain fabric of person to do it and regardless of their experience level they'll have to "learn" the ins and outs of exactly how to be the President of the United States as they go along.  The portrayal of JFK is ultimately an empathetic and honest one, showing us that he had to learn who he should and shouldn't trust or listen to, as well as learn to trust himself enough to commit to decisions that could be wrong. The Bay of Pigs fiasco prepared him for The Cuban Missile Crisis and when it was all said and done he ended up doing a commendable job under the most thankless of circumstances. Given the lasting legacy he left, it's almost impossible to believe he didn't even serve a full term, but just so happened to be in office for three of the most tumultuous years in the country's history.

Greg Kinnear gives the most complete and accurate performance of an in-office President I've ever seen, easily topping Martin Sheen and Bruce Greenwood's previous onscreen interpretations of JFK. Besides frighteningly resembling him and getting the physical mannerisms down pat (watching him walk through the West Wing or even just sitting at his desk with a cigar you'd swear you're looking at the man himself) Kinnear conveys the pain of an insecure man fighting to control his inner demons and live with the guilt of what he's doing to Jackie. He makes you believe the womanizing isn't just a cheap thrill, but an ailment as serious as the physically crippling Addison's Disease he kept secret from the public throughout his Presidency. But it's Barry Pepper who gives the series' best performance as Bobby, acting as his brother's eyes, ears and conscience as Attorney General, while guiding every move he makes. As the unsung hero of the Kennedy's saga, he's the only character who doesn't seem completely oppressed and influenced by their father, even occasionally displaying the fortitude to stand up to him. Whether he's waging war on organized crime, picking a fight with J. Edgar Hoover (a bizarrely cast Enrico Colantoni) or helping Jack deal with racial segregation and rioting at the University of Mississippi, Pepper plays Bobby so idealistically that he comes off as the uncorruptable patron saint of the Kennedy clan, acting only out of loyalty to family and country. The solid relationship he has with wife Ethel (Kristin Booth) is particularly effective in displaying the marriage Jack and Jackie seem to have lacked.

It's a testament to Pepper that Bobby's assassination in the series carries a greater emotional impact than that of his brother's, prompting the reaction of"Anyone but him" when it occurs. Giving us a far clearer picture of his impact than 2006's star-studded debacle Bobby, writer Stephen Kronish's script presents (but wisely doesn't overplay) the idea that he may have grown tired of living in his brother's shadow and cleaning up all his messes, the biggest of which was Marilyn Monroe (Charlotte Sullivan). It's fair to say Monroe, who's portrayed as an airheaded bimbo, and Sinatra (looking and acting more like a young Jack Lemmon than the suave "Chairman of the Board.") are the only two figures besides Joe Kennedy who you could reasonably claim are slandered. But I didn't have a problem with that since this isn't their story and if what we learn about them here is even half true it becomes tougher to argue theses depictions are even out of line.

Perhaps sensing she already has experience playing a similar role off screen for the past few years, someone  went ahead and came up with the brilliant idea to just make it official by casting Katie Holmes as Jackie Kennedy, giving her the unique distinction of being the only actress to have played both the First Daughter and First Lady during her career. The only concern I had going in (besides the fact she might actually be TOO beautiful and youthful looking for the role) was that this could end up being more than she's capable of handling dramatically. Despite what's been reported, it's a big part in both screen time and importance, and taxing for any actress to tackle, with the only relief coming in just how little is known about Jackie. Of all the actors attempting the challenging Massachusetts accent (besides Wilkinson who perhaps wisely doesn't try), Katie's is the shakiest early on before she slides into it and the rest of the performance follows suit, kicking into high gear when she assumes the mantle of the President's better half. What's really great about her performance is how she not only gives you a feel for how difficult it must have been to be First Lady (a position treated here with as much respect as the Presidency), but this particular First Lady during this specific time, especially in the midst of dealing with Jack's many indiscretions. Holmes leaves the lasting impression that Jackie stayed in the marriage not for him at all, but for the country, and possibly to prove something to herself.

A forgotten detail about Jackie is that she was actually quite shy and would have preferred shunning the spotlight if not the sense of obligation and duty she felt to the country and her husband. Barring the striking physical resemblance, casting Katie was a stroke of genius because she not only exudes the class, grace and elegance we associate with Jackie from the magazines and news clips, but gives her that girl-next-door quality a more seasoned actress couldn't. If there's a learning curve for the President, there's also one for his wife so watching Holmes navigate Jackie's journey from innocent inexperience to rock solid strength and confidence under intense public scrutiny becomes an awesome example of art imitating life for the actress as much as the subject. Once we get to the White House it's eerie how she seems to become Jackie and toward the end of the series when she, not Kinnear, has to take this story over the finish line, her transformation from grieving First Lady into "Jackie O." is emotional and chill inducing. It isn't the strongest performance of the four but it sure is the most interesting and the one everyone will be discussing and debating afterward. The media trying to blame her (and we all know why) for what happened with the miniseries was expected, but it's still a shame since she should have been praised for taking the challenge and more than holding her own opposite these powerhouse actors. Just a few years ago there's no way she could have played this role, but now it fits like a glove. Any way you spin it, that's a positive.

For many the "main event" of the miniseries will be that day in Dallas but director Jon Cassar (TV's 24) takes the classy route by avoiding a gruesome all out re-enactment and instead focusing our gaze on the fallout, providing valuable details we may not have known about the reactions of Bobby, Jackie, and especially the feelings of incoming President Lyndon Johnson (Don Allison, a dead ringer for LBJ) in the hours and days following the assassination. Given that we've unpleasantly seen the stomach churning Zapruder footage of Kennedy's shooting countless times through the years, a graphic dramatization seems not only unnecessary, but would mark the series with an ugly stain. Cassar, who has plenty of experience filming political assassinations on 24, could have easily just fallen back on what he knows, but not showing it in all its gory detail ends up being that best decision he makes in maintaining the series' integrity. And time that could have been wasted running assassination theories into the ground is wisely forsaken in lieu of more important matters concerning the aftermath for the Kennedys. The biggest surprise just might be that the production bares more of a resemblance to Mad Men or Lost than any episodes of 24 with its attention to period detail and seamlessly interwoven flashbacks and flashforwards that frame the story. 

It's unfortunate this didn't air on The History Channel since it would have been a perfect fit for a network that long ago abandoned a more straightforward, textbook approach to history in favor of more entertainment-based programming. This is a little of both (more of the latter) but how much is or isn't true has little baring on how riveting these 8 episodes are, each standing strong enough on their own to not even necessitate viewing them in chronological order. Though it surely would have resulted in blockbuster ratings for any major network that aired it, the best news is that it's obvious why they didn't, regardless of the political leanings or motivations of the people involved in the project. Judging from what's on screen it's difficult to make a case that the goal was to do anything but produce the highest quality miniseries possible. Regardless of how the family is treated here, we're left with the idea that Joseph Kennedy's Machiavellian scheming did result in something great for the country, if terrible for them. And after watching all the tragedies that befall this family in this shocking thrill ride of a miniseries, you'd be inclined to believe there was a Kennedy curse that extended far beyond anything he could control.

5 Actors/Actresses Who Need a New Agent (Badly!)

When I recently reviewed Adventureland I noted that the big surprise of the movie for me was the performance of Kristen Stewart. It was the kind of perfectly written part any young actress would dream to play and she hit it out of the park. Those who know Stewart only from THAT OTHER THING she starred in will be equally surprised. Unfortunately for her, due to said choice, her reputation as an actress is pretty much shattered and she'll now have to work about a million times harder to prove herself. This got me thinking. When the right actor or actress meets the right role magic can happen, but more often then not that's like hitting the lottery. And to be able to build on that momentum and sustain a consistently successful career is nearly impossible. The fact is many of these actors probably have agents who don't have a clue what they're doing and the ones that do might not listen because their egos are too big. Angelina Jolie doesn't have an agent. Neither does Bill Murray. And they've done just fine.

The actors/actresses on the list below don't have careers that are in dire straits, nor do they necessarily need a "comeback" (that's a different list entirely) since they're still planted firmly in the public's conciousness, but if things keep going in the direction they are, it won't be long before they do. Yes, they're all making money but they could be making MORE MONEY and MAKING GOOD MOVIES also. In a perfect world, they go hand in hand. The good news is that the situations of these five (with the exception of one) could be considered "fixable" and don't have problems a simple change in representation or a dose of reality couldn't quickly solve. At one time or another I was fan of all of them and if anything they should take it as a compliment they were singled out because it means I think they're talented and still have a lot left to offer. If I didn't I just wouldn't have wasted my time. This list could easily be expanded but I've chosen to narrow the focus only on these five because their careers are most worth salvaging. Two of these sting because I was a huge fan of theirs, but only one makes me furious with disappointment (it'll be obvious who). This person has been torturing us with her shitty choices for nearly a decade and it's time for an intervention. As a special gift I'll be giving all of them some free advice as to how they can turn things around. They'd be wise to take it.
 
5. Nicolas Cage-Okay, so he lucked out with Knowing which, thanks to a good director, turned out to be successful despite on paper carrying the hallmarks of his embarrassing blockbuster action choices over the past decade (frequently featuring him with crazy hair). That minor success aside, things haven't been great creatively for Cage, who basically traded in his Oscar for cash. He's an action star, not an actor, which would be fine if the movies he made weren't Ghost Rider, Next and Bangkok Dangerous. Things don't look good for the upcoming Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. Seeing his name on the marquee is practically a dead give away that the film is going to blow. Only The Weather Man and Lord of War stand out as anything worth writing home about in the past few years.

I think it's great that he used the Oscar to leverage for bigger paydays in action movies, but I wish they were good movies and that he mixed it up occasionally with dramatic roles (like his brilliant turn in Adaptation) that remind us he is a very talented actor. Compared to others on this list he isn't in such bad shape because the public actually likes him and wants to see him do well. All he needs to do is pick better scripts and work with better directors and he's set. Easily solvable. 

4. Sandra Bullock-Anyone who thinks that the moderate success of The Proposal in any way signifies some kind of return to form for Sandra is kidding themselves, especially considering that her latest, All About Steve, is sitting at 0% (!) on the Rotten Tomato Meter. Everyone (well, at least the ladies) saw The Proposal because of Ryan Reynolds, who probably could have co-starred with a corpse and still opened it huge. But the good news is that no one stayed away because she was in it and the public will always like her.

It's now just a matter of finding the right projects, which is difficult because of how Hollywood tosses actresses aside when they hit 40. A select few like Cate Blanchett, Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore and Meryl Streep have been able to overcome this but they have more talent and versatility than she does. Bullock is more similar to Meg Ryan in that while she's a solid actress, she was popular throughout the 1990's primarily on the basis of her cuteness and likability. What Sandy should do is the opposite of Cage. Take a huge blockbuster type role in a mindless action franchise to get audiences accustomed to seeing her as a big deal again. Playing an ordinary woman thrown into extraordinary circumstances is what drew audiences to her to begin with so there's no reason to think it can't happen again. Four words: SPEED 3 JASON STATHAM. Then after that she can attempt to stretch a little dramatically (which she once did to awesome effect in 2005's Crash).



3. Harrison Ford-It seems these days the only way you're going to see Ford in a good movie is if he's being referenced in a sight gag or used as a punchline [like in Fanboys and (500) Days of Summer]. Who can forget his "accent" in K-19: The Widowmaker or his unfortunate turns in Hollywood Homicide and Firewall? No matter how much money Indy 4 raked in it didn't do anything for him as far as a career resurgence. The film being awful likely contributed to that.

What he needs to do is stop taking silly comedies (he isn't funny) and cool it on the action roles. Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone can still get away with it at their age. He can't. Not because he isn't believable but because he's a different kind of actor than they are. He's a lot quieter and more low-key, making him difficult to cast. The answer at this stage is to take more gritty, independent character driven parts, even if they're supporting roles. He needs to take a page out of Stallone's book and pull a Cop Land (but of even higher quality). Ford is lucky in that he's a big star and age isn't nearly as much of a factor for actors as it is for actresses. It's really perplexing that he's struggled this much. 

2. Katie Holmes- Katie, Katie, Katie. When The Dark Knight opened last summer, one of the biggest surprises to come out of it were the amount of Holmes fans coming out of the woodwork claiming they actually preferred her take on Rachel to Maggie Gylennhaal's. I disagree, but it was a much closer call than expected. While she was definitely the weak link in Batman Begins, looking back the performance couldn't have been as bad as everyone originally thought if Maggie just barely managed to top it and no one can claim the sequel would have been any worse off had Katie chosen to return. That's cause enough for her to celebrate. What isn't is that she backed out of one of the most critically and commercially successful movies of all-time so she could co-star in Mad Money, which is cause for alarm any way you look at it. But the public's lukewarm reception (misplaced or not) to Gylenhaal in the role proves moviegoers may finally be willing to put concerns over Katie's personal life aside to give her a chance again.

Many forget that she was really on a roll for a while and could have possibly achieved the fame she has now through her work if things had continued down the path they were going. Make all the jokes you want about Dawson's Creek but she was amazing on it and there would have been no show without her. She had small but memorable turns in The Ice Storm, Go, Wonder Boys, Phone Booth, Abandon and The Singing Detective. And of course an appearance in Sam Raimi's The Gift that's legendary for reasons completely unrelated to her acting. Her career high point came in 2003's Pieces of April, where as the title character she delivered her best performance to date. She may have been woefully miscast in Thank You for Smoking but at least she had the foresight to work with a future Oscar nominated director. What's interesting is that the parts weren't showy or huge, just great fits for her. Her agent deserved a raise, a new house and a yacht. Instead, she got her walking papers when YOU KNOW WHAT happened in 2005.

Taking a couple of years off and keeping a relatively low profile may have been the best possible thing she could have done in terms of her public perception. The timing feels right now for a comeback. I'd start with really good supporting roles and then work my way up. If under a good director she can find a part that somehow combines the girl next door we originally fell for with her new mature persona it would be a solid first step. Even though she cheated a little, her name alone is now big enough to open a movie whereas just a few years ago it wasn't. That's an opportunity she can't pass up.


1. Kate Hudson-

2002- The Four Feathers
2003- Le Divorce, Alex & Emma, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
2004- Raising Helen
2005- The Skeleton Key
2006- You, Me and Dupree (I actually liked this one but it was still an unquestionable flop)
2008-Fool's Gold, My Best Friend's Girl
2009- Bride Wars

I don't even know what to say about her anymore. If we combined all the pitiful choices of everyone else on this list it wouldn't equal an eighth of the damage Hudson has done to her career in the past five to ten years. Most frightening of all is how someone so young could have amassed a filmography of such garbage. Even if I refuse to believe she's Goldie Hawn's biological daughter until I see a birth certificate, she's insisted on taking roles her mother would of played 20 or 30 years ago. The difference: Her mom was funny.

I guess this finally settles the debate as to whether Kate was just "playing herself" in Almost Famous. She wasn't. Penny Lane would have never been dumb enough to sign on to those movies listed above. Nothing she's done can erase the magic of that performance but you can't say she hasn't been trying. Would it be wrong if my advice was to quit acting? Yes, it would. Which is why I'd tell her to just take a little break and then give Cameron Crowe a call. On the bright side, a lot of moviegoers like me still refuse to forget how unbelievable she was in that role and would be happy to welcome her back.