When in Rome

Director: Mark Steven Johnson
Starring: Kristen Bell, Josh Duhamel, Will Arnett, Jon Heder, Dax Shepard, Danny DeVito, Angelica Huston
Running Time: 91 min.
Rating: PG-13

★★ (out of ★★★★)

Whenever I see or hear the phrase, "When in Rome..." I always think of that joke in Anchorman. It's worth mentioning since the movie When in Rome contains only two gags about half as funny as that one. An insipid farce that can't decide whether it wants to be a fairy tale or a romantic comedy, it's also Kristen Bell's first full-fledged starring role, which should be good news. And while this material is clearly way beneath her, she could have done worse. What the film does successfully convey, or at least not hide completely, is that she's a uniquely charismatic actress with a "girl next door" quality who's capable of big things if given the opportunity.

While watching, I couldn't help but wonder what witty, sarcastic put-downs Veronica Mars would come up with if she were forced to sit through this. I've accepted that a role as rich and complex as that one comes along once in a blue moon but it still stings seeing her appear in mindless fluff. The film is only slightly worse than I expected and I expected it to be pretty awful, but the leads do have decent chemistry and it isn't hard to imagine a romantic comedy starring them that could have worked well. Instead, one mistake after another sinks it and the laughs are in short supply, mostly due to poor execution of a premise that wasn't incredibly promising to begin with.

Bell plays Beth, an ambitious, hard-working career woman unlucky in love, as if there's any other kind of heroine in movies these days. As curator for the Guggenheim, she has to land "THE BIG ACCOUNT" for her demanding boss, Celeste (Angelica Huston--why?)....or else. The timing couldn't be worse as she has to be at her younger sister Joan's wedding in Rome. That sister is played by Alexis Dziena, who after this, Fool's Gold and Nick Norah's Infinite Playlist, I'm convinced could be the most annoying supporting actress working today. Just her very presence may as well signal any film's journey to DVD within a month. At the wedding, Beth impulsively steals coins from a "fountain of love," belonging to smitten tourists aggressively pursuing (i.e. stalking) her upon her return to New York. There's Jon Heder as a street magician, Dax Shepard as a male model, Danny DeVito as a sausage impresario and Will Arnett as a struggling artist. But the only guy she's really interested in is Nick (Josh Duhamel), a former college football star and sports journalist she meets at the wedding. The big question is whether his feelings are real or he's also under the spell.

The fountain scene where the suitors are revealed is almost too clumsy to do justice in words, cutting between these goofy reaction shots from all the guys as they're put under the trance. It would have been much smarter to gradually introduce them throughout the film, but the writers think we can't figure out anything for ourselves so they instead come out swinging and clobber us over the head with the concept right away. More embarrassing though is that THEY DIDN'T CAST WILL ARNETT AS THE STREET MAGICIAN. Talk about not even trying. In addition to having Arnett reprise his Arrested Development role they should have just let Heder play Napoleon Dynamite (Pedro already makes an appearance anyway) and have Don Johnson, as Beth's dad, bust out the white suit and reprise his Miami Vice role. None of that could be any worse than what we get, which includes pointless cameos from the likes of Shaq and Lawrence Taylor (good timing there).

The movie contains two scenes that could qualify as mildly hilarious. The first involves the breaking of a vase at the wedding, which I laughed at during trailers and commercials, but plays even funnier when viewed in context. Another, involves Beth and Nick's date at a restaurant named "Blackout," where they dine in total darkness, complete with a hostess with night vision goggles. If only the rest of the film contained the ingenuity of those scenes. Of her stalkers, only "Sausage King" Al Russo entertains since it is humorous (and a little scary) seeing DeVito chase Kristen Bell down the street with a gift basket of sausage. Shepard's arrogant model is the worst, seemingly inspired by a Zoolander extra. The biggest surprise is Duhamel who was a lot better than I expected as the male lead, displaying a goofy charm that's right for the part and matches Bell nicely. He's as much a victim of the poor writing as she is.

Though Bell makes Beth believable as a driven museum curator, the idea of her as a dumped, lonely woman unlucky with men is preposterous, as is the notion they'd need a "spell" put on them to fall for her. That's why I wish screenwriters would come with a different kind of heroine for a change instead of continuously asking us to pity the rich, beautiful, ambitious career woman who "just can't find love." Doing this would also put an end to the clumsy workplace scenes we always seem to get in these romantic comedies, which are getting so ridiculous that "THE BIG ACCOUNT" is now indistinguishable from "THE BIG GAME" in sports movies. But what's most bizarre, and could have easily been a complete accident on the part of the filmmakers, the piece of art at the center of this "BIG ACCOUNT" actually justifies the hype surrounding it and you could easily picture it prominently hanging in a prestigious gallery. It's hilarious that they got nearly every important thing wrong in the movie, yet somehow managed to get that small detail right.

It's hard to chalk up any film with Bell as its lead as a complete loss since it's always a pleasure seeing her on screen. And as badly as the script misfires, at least this represents the kind of part she should be taking and plays to her strengths, unlike the bitchy supporting character she was saddled with in the slightly superior (but still really flawed) Forgetting Sarah Marshall. She should continue playing likable characters we can root for because that's her bread and butter, but she really needs to start making better choices in terms of how to do it. Big screen stardom for her won't come starring in projects written and directed by the visionary who made Grumpier Old Men and Ghost Rider. Expectations for date movies are understandably low since you're really just looking for a good time, but even by those meager standards, When in Rome still finds ways to disappoint.

Blades of Glory

Directors: Josh Gordon and Will Speck
Starring: Will Ferrell, Jon Heder, Will Arnett, Amy Poehler, Jenna Fischer, William Fichtner, Craig T. Nelson \
Running Time: 93 min.
Rating: PG-13

*** (out of ****)

Blades of Glory is a one-joke movie. Fortunately, that one joke happens to be very funny. Helping further is that the film takes a swipe at a sport long overdue for ridicule in a feature film. The biggest mystery coming out of the movie is how we went so long without a comedy mocking professional figure skating. If you think about it, could there be a goofier sport? With its outrageous costumes, bizarre personalities and ridiculous choreography it's almost too easy. How do you mock a sport that's a mockery in and of itself? It's simple. You hire Will Ferrell, maybe the only comedic actor alive capable of making figure skating look even sillier than it actually is. Then you pair him up with Jon Heder, who has the market cornered on playing wusses. Throw in Will Arnett as a crazed rival and add that guy who was on Coach to play…a coach. The end result is a comedy that's a lot better than it should be and much of the credit for that can go to the actors, who look like they're having the time of their lives. After a solid set-up, the movie really starts to find its groove and milks just about every laugh it can from its one-joke premise, resulting in a really good time all-around.

It's the 2002 World WinterSport Games and the top two men's singles figure skaters are going for the gold. One is a testosterone-fueled brute named Chazz Michael Michaels (Ferrell), who's nickname is "sex on ice,' a reputation only bolstered by the fact that he really is a sex addict and not shy about saying it. His arch-rival, James MacElroy (Heder) is figure skating's golden boy, groomed for greatness from a very young age by an eccentric billionaire (played by William Fichtner). That MacElroy actually stands out as too girlish and effeminate in the world of male figure skating could be viewed as an accomplishment far more remarkable than any medal victory.

The two end up tying, which leads to a funny brawl on the podium and a lifetime professional skating suspension for both. Three years later Jimmy is working at a skate shop, while Chazz (in a very funny series of scenes) is working in costume at a kid's ice show completely drunk. Jimmy soon finds out about a loophole that would allow him to compete in pairs skating and his old coach (Coach's Craig T. Nelson) convinces Jimmy and Chazz to team up. Their competition: The incestuous brother-sister duo of Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg (played by real life husband and wife Will Arnett and Amy Poehler). They blackmail their sister/assistant/slave Katie (Jenna Fischer) into spying on the duo, but soon she finds herself falling for Jimmy and comedic complications arise from that, threatening the partnership of Jimmy and Chazz heading into "big competition." Also hanging over their head is the pressure from their Coach to perform a complicated and deadly maneuver known as the "Iron Lotus," which we learn from hilarious video footage once resulted in the decapitation of a pro skater.

One of the first things I noticed about Blades of Glory was how much work must have gone into making it. Figure skating may look silly but there's no denying it's extremely difficult. Sure the actors had stuntmen there to perform the more complicated maneuvers, but they all had to learn to not only skate, but skate very well. If none of these stars looked like they could skate professionally the comedy wouldn't work. To their credit, Ferrell, Heder, Arnett and Poehler never look awkward on the ice or like they're actors "trying to skate." I'm not sure how much visual effects played a role in this and I don't care because at least the action scenes looked real, which is more than you can say for a whole lot of other sports movies. Since everything looks believable that just makes the inherent goofiness in the premise that much funnier.

Of course, they couldn't have a figure skating movie without a bunch of cameos from professional skaters like Nancy Kerrigan, Scott Hamilton, Brian Boitano and Dorothy Hamill. Nor could they make it through the entire length of the film without inserting a joke about clubbing someone in the knee. Really, it was too easy for them. Not to feel left out, Luke Wilson appears briefly as a sex addiction counselor. His appearance is so random and unnecessary that it's actually somewhat funny.

The teaming of Ferrell's macho character and Heder's girly one not only gives the writers a chance to slide in gay jokes, but allows Ferrell to go over-the-top in his attempts to shock. Ferrell's antics should seem beyond tired by now but for some reason they're not. The sight of him as a womanizing, sex addicted professional figure skater is a cheap, easy laugh but Ferrell, not known for his restraint, gives us exactly what we'd expect and it's still hilarious. This is about the third or fourth film in a row Jon Heder has just played a variation on his Napoleon Dynamite character. Until he tries something different I'll have to assume he isn't capable of anything else, but here he adds a girly twist and his contrast with Ferrell makes the film, which was obviously the intent behind the casting.

I'm convinced Craig T. Nelson was only cast as an inside joke because of his onscreen television coaching experience. It's funny (even if he doesn't really do anything), but not as funny as, say, Judge Reinhold playing Judge Reinhold in a mock trial on Arrested Development. If any fans of The Office are interested in seeing this because Jenna Fischer's in it they'll be disappointed because her role is woefully underwritten. That's a silly complaint though since in a comedy like this it's a given she'll just be a plot device, which she is and that's fine. The sub-plot works for what it is. Still, as someone who's never seen The Office and was curious why everyone's been raving about her, I was hoping to see at least a glimpse of what she could do as actress. I didn't. It just wasn't that kind of part.

When I reviewed Hot Rod I complained that the film underused the comedic genius of Will Arnett. Here he's utilized far better and is given a chance to show us what he's got, especially in a gut-busting chase sequence late in the film that reminds us how impossible it is to walk, much less run, in ice skates. Arnett and Poehler do nearly steal the film from under their co-stars with their inspired weirdness, which is never clearer than during their bizarre interpretive ice routine of Presidential history toward the conclusion.

There are no less than four writers credited on this, which is surprising since it's far from the highest concept comedy, but they somehow pulled it together. Interestingly, there's also a story credit given to Busy Phillips, who you might remember as a television actress from shows like Freaks and Geeks and Dawson's Creek. It's pretty funny to think she's been spending her free time coming up with the idea for this movie. While hardly groundbreaking or revolutionary, she at least deserves the credit for realizing this would work, something clueless Hollywood studios apparently couldn't for years. In their defense they were probably too busy planning a remake of Citizen Kane or a prequel to Jaws.

Anyone going into this expecting shocks and surprises won't get any. What you will get is a lot of laughs and some entertaining performances. I wouldn't have lost any sleep if I never saw it but it's fair to say what it does for (or maybe to) figure skating is no better or worse than what Talladega Nights did for NASCAR. If you liked that, you'll like this. Blades of Glory is no Superbad, or even Hot Rod, and you'll likely forget about it five minutes after the final credits role, but it does continue the 2007 streak of winning comedies.

Cult Classic Corner: Napoleon Dynamite

Director: Jared Hess

Starring: Jon Heder, Jon Gries, Efram Ramirez, Tina Majornino, Aaron Ruell
Running Time: 95 min.
Rating: PG

***1/2 (out of ****)

You either hate it or love it. There's no in between. That's the best way to describe Napoleon Dynamite, the 2004 comedy made for only $400,000 that went on to make over $84 million and become one of the biggest cult classics of the decade. It's not hard to see why it's so polarizing. The film contains all the hallmarks of a cult classic: offbeat and memorable characters, quotable dialogue, no real plot line, and a weird cinematic experience that invites (almost requires) repeated viewings. It's become especially popular among young people who, maybe frighteningly, relate to the alienation of the title character

This isn't a movie for all tastes but those who have embraced it know how special it is. Some say no one could possibly act, talk or look like the characters in this movie. Those people have obviously never been in high school. High school is hell for the insanely goofy looking and acting Napoleon (Jon Heder), but he hardly knows it, or if he does, he doesn't care. He looks half-asleep most of the time. He lives with his grandmother and brother Kip (Aaron Ruell), who looks like he's well into his thirties and claims Naploean's jealous of him "chatting online with babes all day." Enter Uncle Rico (Jonathan Gries) who comes to live with them after grandma has a biking accident. His ridiculous behavior delivers maybe the biggest laughs of the movie.

Meanwhile, two friends arrive in Napoleon's life, the well-mustachioed transfer student Pedro (Efran Ramirez) and shy girl Deb (Tina Majornino), who Napoleon clearly has a crush on, but because of his limited social skills, he has problems doing anything about it. Napoleon's dedication to getting Pedro elected class president is really the film's centerpiece, but it's the little details we remember. Like Uncle Rico's sales scams to sell twenty piece Tupperware sets and natural breast enhancers door to door. Or his attempts to build a time machine to go back to his football glory years of 1982. Come to think of it everyone dresses like it's 1982. How about Napoleon's ridiculous, yet strangely enjoyable auditorium dance performance? There are too many memorable moments in this film to even name.

Why I think it all mostly works is the complete and total engulfment of the filmmakers and actors into these characters. I can imagine reading the script for this and not thinking it's very funny, but onscreen everything clicks. The actors deliver their lines so dryly and with such understated subtlety it's almost as if they want us to take them seriously. This just makes it funnier. The characters in the movie, especially the title one, aren't particularly likable at all, yet by the end we like them all almost in spite of ourselves. They're so goofy and relatable to people we know we almost don't have a choice. They're character types but the actors invest more into them than that with their performance, and as a result they become unforgettable.

Jon Heder literally inhabits Napoleon to the point that I don't think I could ever watch him in another role and believe it. There's even some kind of attempt to give Napoleon redemption at the end, but not too much. After all, the brilliance of Napoleon Dynamite is that it's always winking at us and making it clear it's in on the joke.