Blink Twice

Director: Zoë Kravitz
Starring: Naomi Ackie, Channing Tatum, Christian Slater, Alia Shawkat, Simon Rex, Adria Arjona, Haley Joel Osment, Liz Carabel, Levon Hawke, Trew Mullen, Geena Davis, Kyle MacLachlan
Running Time: 102 min.
Rating: R

★★½ (out of ★★★★)   

If Knives Out and Jordan Peele had a baby, the result might come close to resembling Zoë Kravitz's Blink Twice, which some might remember had the original working title of Pussy Island. But once the Motion Picture Association got involved and likely told Kravitz her directorial debut would only play in theaters with three X's on the marquee, she gave in. But that's apparently where the compromise ended since its new generic title implies a blandness that couldn't be further from what unfolds onscreen, for better or worse. 

You know you're in for a wild ride when this opens with a trigger warning, but Kravitz definitely takes her time in setting up a premise with enough stylistic flourishes and debauchery to double as Saltburn's distant cousin. Attempting to explore themes of memory and misogyny, the execution is all over the map, complete with a reveal that still somehow feels off despite all the enticing groundwork laid.

When nail artist and cocktail waitress Frida (Naomi Ackie) and her friend Jess (Alia Shawkat) work an event thrown by billionaire tech entrepreneur Slater King (Channing Tatum), Frida strikes up a conversation with the mogul, who invites them both to his private island. Having recently stepped down as his company's CEO amidst an unspecified scandal, Slater has publicly apologized and turned over a new leaf, now dedicating his time to self-help therapy sessions and philanthropic endeavors. 

Upon their arrival, Frida and Jess meet Slater's entourage consisting of photographer Vic (Christian Slater), chef Cody (Simon Rex), personal assistant Stacy (Geena Davis), security head Stan (Chris Costa), DJ Tom (Haley Joel Osment) and hanger-on Lucas (Levon Hawke). Other women joining Frida and Jess as guests are former Survivor contestant Sarah (Adria Arjona), vapid app developer Camilla (Liz Caribel) and stoned out lawyer Heather (Trew Mullen). 

All of them are treated to a relaxing paradise where they're showered with lavish gift bags, expensive perfumes, gourmet meals and hallucinogenics. But while Slater takes a special interest in Frida, Jess  notices mysterious lapses in her memory, suspecting this beautiful getaway is more controlled and cult-like than they initially assumed, Before long, Frida will also become wary of the island's secrets and Slater's intentions, eventually realizing that leaving on her own free will won't be an option.

There are sinister clues and bread crumbs dropped throughout that hint at something darker, but for a good portion of the running time, it's just non-stop partying, eating and doing drugs. When Kravitz does pull the trigger on this plot after much build-up, it comes hard and fast, as if the film's length doesn't give her nearly enough runway to fully explore all the script's ideas.

Spending time with such an eclectic cast isn't exactly a chore, even if their characters are really just pawns in a larger game rather than multi-dimensional personalities to be invested in. Naomi Ackie's versatile performance as Frida is the major exception, as the actress sensitively portrays the insecurity and frustration of someone sick of being invisible. Just Slater acknowledging Frida's existence is a huge deal for her, as the invite and extra attention override the weirdness, obscuring any red flags and Jess's desperate pleas to leave. 

While we know this is all his dangerous power play, Tatum keeps Slater consistent, showing no noticeable changes in either his cool demeanor or oddly detached hospitality. That those outside his inner circle don't look like total idiots for getting sucked into his vortex is a plus, even if the story relies on a clumsily conceived sci-fi device to do it. 

The rest of the performances entertain to varying degrees, with Christian Slater, Simon Rex and Geena Davis leaving strong impressions as King's employees. And after early concerns Hit Man breakout Adria Arjona would be underutilized, her supporting role gains importance as this wears on, further solidifying the actress's rising status with a very different kind of turn here.

Audiences may start to wonder if Slater King stole a copy of Elon Musk's vacation itinerary when  Kravitz tries her hand at a Quentin Tarantino-style female revenge fantasy at the end. She's not half bad at it, though a plot twist involving Frida's connection to the island hardly makes a lick of sense in retrospect. 

Messy and overindulgent, Blink Twice is hard to look away from, but difficult getting a handle on, often coming across as a dark satire that provides only a surface level examination of heavier issues involving gender dynamics, abuse and rape. Luckily, Kravitz is a more compelling director than writer, so even when the narrative gets sloppy, the visuals, editing and performances help its cause. She emerges unscathed, showing the potential to easily surpass this with whatever comes next.               

Fly Me to the Moon

Director: Greg Berlanti
Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Channing Tatum, Woody Harrelson, Ray Romano, Jim Rash, Anna Garcia, Donald Elise Watkins, Noah Robbins, Christian Clemenson, Colin Jost, Victor Garber
Running Time: 132 min.
Rating: PG-13

★★½ (out of ★★★★)

Reactions to Greg Berlanti's Fly Me to the Moon could vary based on whether you feel all its contrasting elements eventually converge into a somewhat successful film. Anyone looking for a biographical drama on the 60's Space Race will find that plot ceding the spotlight to a fluffy throwback romance in the vein of a Rock Hudson/Doris Day movie. As an inoffensively lightweight rom-com it's a fairly well made effort that looks and feels how you'd imagine studio executives view this era, for better or worse. 

Clocking in at just over two hours, it feels much longer, which could be due to Berlanti juggling multiple balls in the air before landing on the snappy farce teased in its trailers. With a narrative that revolves around advertising, Rose Gilroy's script does deliver what's publicized, as you can easily envision a pitch meeting describing this as Mad Men meets Apollo 13. Or more accurately, Apollo 11. Ironically, everything involving a faked moon landing is the most intriguing aspect, even if it's sometimes treated as a bigger obstacle for the romance than the space program.

It's 1968 and NASA has an image problem, failing to secure funding in the Space Race with the Soviets following the Apollo I disaster. As Kennedy Space Center launch director Cole Davis (Channing Tatum) prepares for the upcoming Apollo 11 flight that will put the first men on the moon, deceitful New York advertising executive Kelly Jones (Scarlett Johansson) is blackmailed by President Nixon operative Moe Berkus (Woody Harrelson) into revamping NASA's public relations office. After some initial flirtation, her and Cole soon clash when Kelly starts making sponsorship deals and hiring actors to play scientists in media appearances. 

While Kelly's new initiatives result in increased funding, the nation's attention remains on a raging Vietnam War. With the agency's entire future now riding on Apollo 11, Kelly plans to broadcast the moon landing on television despite Cole's skepticism about placing a camera on the spacecraft. Moe loves the idea, but has a back-up plan few but Kelly and her assistant Ruby (Anna Garcia) are privy to. As the launch approaches, Kelly must decide whether to tell Cole the entire truth or risk undermining everything NASA's team has been working toward.

Going just by its description, you'd figure this would have the potential to be a fairly exciting take on the Space Race. But it's goofy in a tone reminiscent of Jerry Seinfeld's recent Unfrosted, which would be fine if this were about breakfast treats rather than sending the first men to the moon. Add to that a sullen Cole's guilt over the recent Apollo 1 tragedy and suddenly there isn't a whole lot to laugh about. 

NASA needing some serious PR assistance makes for a believable hook, as does the involvement of Harrelson's Nixon operative. But whatever credibility those ideas carried on paper quickly dissolve once the emphasis is put on Kelly and Cole's "will they or won't they" relationship. The pair's early scenes together do work though, especially when she infuriates him with a constant stream of product tie-ins. The script drops not so subtle clues that lying and manipulation come easier to Kelly than most, even by cutthroat Madison Avenue standards. Since Cole basically despises every idea she has, we know their constant bickering will wear out its welcome before he finally comes around. 

It's a while before we get a sufficient explanation about Cole's state of mind, making his interactions with Kelly a bit exasperating. If that's not enough, she's also hiding something significant from her past, resulting in disagreements, misunderstandings and manufactured crises before the inevitable launch. Johansson and Tatum are just fine, and while few could claim their chemistry is off the charts, they each deliver exactly what's required given the scope of these roles.

Harrelson lends a mischievous sarcasm to the bureaucratic Moe, squeezing a little extra out of a supporting turn that's more worthwhile than expected. Once the shuttle launches, this takes off in way it didn't before, treating us to a spirited performance from Jim Rash as the flamboyant director put in charge of filming this staged production should the real mission fail. A film solely focused on a fake moon landing would probably be less far fetched than what we see here, but at least the approach is different and leads into a suspenseful split screen finale.

Unfortunately, Berlanti pays only so much attention to the details before declaring what he really thinks the story's about. Those more interested in the mission itself should probably prepare themselves for a breezy diversion that isn't particularly interested in going beneath the surface. But during the moments it strikes the right balance, Fly Me to the Moon shows glimmers of what could have been under the best of circumstances.

Foxcatcher

Director: Bennett Miller
Starring: Steve Carell, Channing Tatum, Mark Ruffalo, Vanessa Redgrave, Sienna Miller, Anthony Michael Hall, Gut Boyd, Brett Rice
Running Time: 134 min.
Rating: R

★★★★ (out of ★★★★) 

Every so often an actor crawls so far deep under the skin of a deplorable character that they almost make viewers ill with each on screen appearance. That's only magnified when the character in question is based on an actual person, or more accurately in this case, a real life monster. Steve Carell's performance as John du Pont, the man convicted of murdering Olympic gold medal wrestler Dave Schultz in 1996, is so disturbing that "understanding" his twisted motivations and emotional instability doesn't help soften the edge. The more you learn, the more you'll hate his guts. Empathy isn't an option here. He's a sad, lonely sack of a man so desperate for respect and adulation that he's sure throwing his family's money around will earn him a seat at the cool kids' table. And for a little while it works, until his personal hang-ups and mommy issues start taking center stage.

Du Pont is the nightmare version of one of those isolated, rich sports franchise owners who get way too involved in an arena they know nothing about. And his beady eyes show no traces of the funnyman who starred on The Office or The 40-Year-Old Virgin, even as Carell and Moneyball director Bennett Miller force the audience to reassign the latter film's protagonist to a dramatic tragedy, making us wonder what happens when guys like him turn into psychopaths. Du Pont finds his star protege in someone who seems to share a similar philosophy and is almost as lonely, searching for a mentor and father figure despite already having the best one there is. Uncompromisingly bleak and unnervingly cold, Foxcatcher does manage to be darkly funny at times, but more often it's deadly serious, unflinchingly presenting its true crime story and the unusual circumstances surrounding it.

It's 1987, three years after brothers and training partners Mark (Channing Tatum) and Dave Schultz (Mark Ruffalo) both won wrestling gold at the Los Angeles Olympics. The older, more renowned Dave's career is continuing to thrive as both an athlete and a coach while the more uncertain Mark struggles to map out his future, relegated to taking speaking engagements where they mistake him for his brother. He knows he wants to compete at the World Championships and go on to win gold at the '88 games in Seoul, but isn't sure of the path that will get him get there. Enter eccentric millionaire chemical heir John E. du Pont, a self-professed "patriot" who offers to financially support him and his team, allowing them to board and train at his family's famed Foxcatcher Farm estate in rural Pennsylvania, where he's just built a state-of-the-art wrestling facility.

For the directionless Mark, the offer proves too enticing to pass up, but Dave is a much harder sell, refusing to uproot his wife, Nancy (Sienna Miller) and two kids for a big payday. Things start off well, until it becomes painfully clear John's a paranoid sociopath who's slowly breaking Mark down emotionally and using the team as a weapon against his disapproving mother Jean (Vanessa Redgrave). Her equestrian pursuits a top priority, she views wrestling as "low" and her son's obsession with it ridiculous. The more involved John gets with his team, the more dangerous he becomes, pitting the brothers against each other in a desperate, pathetic bid to vicariously achieve the success he never had on his own, with tragic results.

The scenes between du Pont and Mark are so quiet and awkward you can hear a pin drop. From the beginning there's a tension as Mark tries to figure out what this strange man's motives are. But it is a generous offer, with John being legitimately sincere about his desire for Mark and Team USA to succeed, at least in his own mind. Like most delusional or mentally unbalanced people, he means exactly what he's saying, tricking himself before anyone else.

Seeds of the millionaire's eventual psychotic breakdown are subtly planted from the moment Carell first shuffles onto screen, his face hidden behind heavy aging makeup and a bulbous prosthetic nose, which he seems be talking through while panting through his mouth. It all enhances the overall effect, even if it's present only supplement a transformation that's already creepy and masterful on its own. He's working from the inside out to create du Pont, or at least some version of him that rivals the insanity of the real man.

While it's tempting to label Mark as merely a musclehead from the get-go, there's no reason for him to doubt his benefactor's intentions other than that he seems like any other eccentric rich guy on the surface.  And therein lies that tightrope walk that is Channing Tatum's performance, which stands as the best work he's ever done, even when compared to the major creative strides he's made over the past couple of years.  He makes you think Mark isn't the sharpest tool in the box, and he may not be, but is careful enough to play him as lonely and slightly gullible. And yet he's still perceptive enough to sense when John's gone too far and it's time to leave.

If John has no friends then Mark has exactly one: His big brother. In an incredible early training scene you see the love and respect Dave has for him, yet also sense some of the resentment and jealousy coming from Mark. Du Pont pounces on that, but a switch flips when Dave rejects his offer to also train at Foxcatcher. Perceiving him as a threat to his "friendship" with Mark, he silently fumes when he seems to take over his role as mentor, father and coach. But it's a role that Dave always owned and any underlying tension between brothers doesn't come close to matching the tension present in every uncomfortable interaction du Pont has. But it's the eventual addition of Dave into the equation that really sets him off.

Scenes of John's creepiness and eccentricity border on the darkly comic, whether he's interrupting practice with a loaded firearm, buying tanks, or displaying the team's medals in his trophy room. It's especially evident when he convinces himself he's not only an inspiring leader, but a superstar wrestler, actually taking to the mat himself without any knowledge of the sport, nor an athletic bone in his body. One of the saddest and funniest movie moments of the year unfolds when he clumsily tries to advise and coach, with Dave looking on incredulously and his own mother pitying him from the sidelines. Dave senses something's off with him from the start with Ruffalo, ever so slightly implying those doubts on his quizzical face the entire time.

Ruffalo would seem to be an odd choice to portray the fallen Schultz brother, but he spends each minute of his screen time proving otherwise. Unlike Tatum, he doesn't look like a wrestler, but he captures the tenacity and methodical approach of someone who's risen to the top of their sport. The actor does so much by seemingly doing so little, making sure we know Dave has the missing piece of the puzzle his little brother, arguably the more natural athlete, lacks. It's in how he talks, walks and even thinks. Mark doesn't have that confidence and the problem is in where he goes to find it. Dave represents everything du Pont hates. Respected not for the size of his bank account, but his accomplishments, he's the guy this weasel has spent his life trying to be. He's a top shelf athlete and human being so completely sure of himself and committed to his family that no amount of money could lure him to Foxcatcher. It's his concern for Mark that ultimately gets him there. And it ends up being his last stop.

It's rare you find a picture this consistently dark and depressing, with hardly a moment of uplift to be found, unless you count some of du Pont's theatrics, but even that's tempered by the knowledge of  impending doom, omnipresent in Rob Simonsen's hypnotically sinister score and a dreary but beautiful Foxcatcher Farm that's permanently cloaked in darkness. Fog, rain, night or snow seems to engulf every other shot and once the film settles into its pacing it feels as if the characters and audience are taken on a long death march to the inevitable conclusion, with hearts pounding.

We know what happens but we never really knew how, and the the film's filled with surprising little details along that journey, making us feel that this is a story that hasn't been told and needs to be. That few outside those following the sport even knew about Dave Schultz's younger brother or that the events surrounding the murder revolved around him, only further solidifies that. Watching Carell, Tatum, and Ruffalo pull from each other the performances of their careers is the biggest revelation, but its cold, unsettling approach to an overlooked story is what will linger in your mind long afterward.

Side Effects

Director: Steven Soderbergh
Starring: Rooney Mara, Channing Tatum, Jude Law, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Ann Dowd, Polly Draper, David Costabile, Mamie Gummer
Running Time: 106 min.
Rating: R

★★★ (out of ★★★★)
 
The character Rooney Mara plays in Side Effects is so interesting and complex it's easy to imagine a wide variety of films across different genres that her protagonist could have been the centerpiece of. It just so happens that the one Steven Soderbergh decided to make is a 90's-style psychological thriller. And who would have guessed? He's really good at it. Of course, it's not that much of a surprise. He's good at most things, often impossible to pigeonhole into any specific genre. I had originally intended to label this, his supposed send-off as a feature director, as "smart" or "clever" until further reflection convinced me the story itself is kind of prepostruous. Almost spectacularly so, with twists and turns so far-fetched and convoluted they would never hold up in any cinematic court of law, much less a real one. And yet, Soderbergh brings an artistry to the material that makes it seem incredibly intelligent. It's all in the "how" and by the end I was almost howling with laughter at the events that went down, which, for a change, is actually meant as a sincere compliment.

Mara is Emily Taylor, whose husband Martin (Channing Tatum) has just recently been released from prison after serving a four year sentence for insider trading. His return and Emily's struggles to adjust to a less opulent lifestyle causes her depression to resurface when she drives her car head-on into a parking garage wall in an apparent suicide attempt. Psychiatrist Dr. Jonathan Banks (Jude Law) is put in charge of her care, prescribing her a variety of anti-depressants while consulting with her former therapist Victoria Siebert (Catherine Zeta-Jones) regarding her history and the best approach to treatment. Seemingly an emotional wreck on meds or off, Emily tries a new experimental drug called Ablixa, which allows her to function normally, aside from one dangerous side effect. This causes another incident where the intended victim this time the isn't herself, causing a controversial ethical and legal dilemma. Then twists and turns come at full force.

Initially the film moves at a deliberate, methodical pace that  practically mirrors the mood of the depressed, withdrawn Emily. Until it doesn't. For a while the movie itself also seems to be on meds as the first hour plays as almost a dream, giving us as good a glimpse as any into what it must be like to be utterly and hopeless to the point of being barely functional. While depression is usually defined as the inability to construct a future, for a while we wonder if this girl's even able to construct a present. She also seems gifted with the most understanding mother-in-law (Ann Dowd) and boss (Polly Draper) on the planet. Then the big event happens and I'll be careful not reveal too much other than a crime is committed that has huge ramifications for every character and calls into question just how responsible a doctor should be held over their patient's actions, as well as how responsible an actual patient is for their own behavior while under the heavy influence of prescription medication. As quickly as screenwriter Scott Z. Burns brings up these issues, he ditches them in favor of going a route that's a bit sillier, but still expertly crafted. And the transition getting there is seamless. The twists and turns aren't exactly shocking when you think back on them and a great deal of what happens stretches credibility even for a legal potboiler, but everything is just too well executed and performed for the viewer not to be totally sucked in.

When it becomes apparent where everything's going, you start to realize how tricky the scenes are to perform and that none of it would have succeeded without Mara's sad, almost other worldly performance that evolves into something else entirely in the film's second half. Some actresses just have that"it" factor. An indescribable presence that can't be described in any way other than an inability for audiences to take their eyes off them whenever they're on screen. She's got it and is able to convey so much with just her face that dialogue hardly even seems necessary during the opening hour. Only when the final credits roll do you realize just how much she had to do without looking like she was doing anything at all and how the original casting choice of Blake Lively (who dropped out before filming) probably wouldn't have fit what Soderbergh was going for because of her accessibility and openness as a movie star type. Mara is much harder to read and far less accessible as an actress, which only serves to help make her more captivating than ever here.

For Law and Zeta-Jones this represents their highest profile roles in some time, with the former basically owning the movie's second half as lead when the focus shifts to Dr. Banks, while Jones chews up and relishes what might be the most  over-the-top, certifiably insane part the usually buttoned-up actress has had yet. Tatum has by far the smallest and briefest role, but following last year's discovery that he's actually a good actor, the floodgates have opened in terms of the types of roles he can play. Despite limited screen time, he's believable in this one.

While the debate's already underway as to Soderbergh's best film (Contagion gets my vote), there's little doubt this is easily his most fun. He has a very distinctive visual style that really seems to have come into its own in his last few releases and there's mistaking that this very much bares his mark, with a script that matches his cool, clinical aesthetic perhaps more than any of his previous efforts. The direction definitely outweighs the script, as it's easy to imagine a low-rent version of this that would go straight to video on demand or play on cable late at night if it were put in the hands of a less accomplished filmmaker.  It takes real skill to take material that treads similar territory as cheesy thrillers like Jade or Wild Things and turn it into high art but he pulls it off with style to spare. And without Mara in the lead I'm not sure any of it would have been possible, as she conclusively puts to bed any doubts she's the real deal. If Side Effects really is Soderbergh's last feature before retiring (which I don't buy for a second by the way), it'll be hard for anyone to say it wasn't a fun way to go out.

Magic Mike

Director: Steven Soderbergh
Starring: Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfer, Matthew McConaughey, Cody Horn, Olivia Munn, Matt Bomer, Joe Manganiello, Kevin Nash, Adam Rodriguez, Gabriel Iglesias, Riley Keough, Betsy Brandt
Running Time: 110 min.
Rating: R

★★★ (out of ★★★★)

Going by only commercials and advertisements, you couldn't be blamed for thinking Magic Mike is  entirely about male stripping. But I get it. There's a movie to sell and the smartest way to fill theater seats was to cater to the women and gay men interested in seeing Channing Tatum star in "Chippendales: The Movie." After watching its trailer, that audience definitely wouldn't be wrong in expecting two hours of non-stop stripping and maybe some laughs. So, you have to wonder how they reacted when one of the very first scenes featured topless female nudity. Or that there are only really three of four big stripping sequences. And that the picture above is a far better representation of what the film is than all those billboards of shirtless guys in ties and suspenders. It's kind of a miracle the movie did as well as it did at the box office considering how much it managed to misrepresent itself. But it's good news for people who like smart movies. But anyone familiar with Steven Soderbergh as a filmmaker knew we wouldn't be getting anything too commercial or fluffy. And we don't. Yet, the movie is still fun in its own cool, laid back kind of way.

Mike Lane (Tatum) is a 30 year-old budding Tampa entrepreneur who dreams of one day owning his own  custom furniture business, but works odd jobs in construction during the day to make ends meet. When 19-year-old Adam (Alex Pettyfer) quits his first day on the site, Mike takes him under his wing and introduces him to his night gig as a professional dancer at the Xquisite Strip Club, which is owned by a washed-up, forty-something stripper named Dallas (Matthew McConaughey). He has ambitions of someday building an empire, but his biggest star is "Magic Mike". Hired initially as the prop guy, Adam is thrown on stage and initiated into the world of male dancing with Mike promising his disapproving sister Brooke (Cody Horn) that he'll look after him. He's also clearly interested in her, but seems tied up in very casual  relationship with vapid grad student Joanna (Olivia Munn). Despite being a quick learner, Adam's inexperience and recklessness prove to be a problem off stage, as he plunges headfirst into the hedonistic lifestyle accompanying the job. Just as Dallas' greed and ego start growing out of control, so does Mike's desires to possibly start exploring other options in life.        

Making the character of Adam an entry point into this male stripping world was the smartest decision Soderbergh could have made to appeal to more skeptical viewers uninterested in seeing a "stripper movie," which this isn't anyway. For the first half of of the movie he's our protagonist, seeming as put-off and uncomfortable with the whole idea of real guys actually doing this to earn money as we are. But the funniest aspect of this just might be how Mike tricks Adam into thinking they'll be spending the night hitting clubs and picking up women. In a way, this is true. He just leaves out the part about him being a male stripper, perhaps knowing the inevitable reaction. Audiences don't have that luxury and you kind of wish they did because the biggest surprise of the film is how the profession is shown to have a backstage grind that's comparable to any other occupation.Which isn't to say it's boring or they're pushing papers, but we see the work and it's definitely a job. At first, it would appear to take more time in the gym than the dance floor to be able to do this but there's definitely a stark contrast between some of the goofy, hilariously choreographed routines they do as a group and when "Magic Mike" takes the stage solo.

The screenplay is based on Tatum's own brief run as a stripper before he got into acting so it would make sense he'd know what he's doing out there. Even with that information, it'll still surprising just how good a dancer he is, notwithstanding the actual stripping, which almost seems like an afterthought. And it results in one of the best sequences, as Adam's overprotective, uptight sister Brooke begrudgingly watches Mike's show-stopping routine with the same perpetual scowl she has plastered on her face throughout three quarters of the picture's running time. And it's such a great scowl because you always see this hint of a tiny smile cracking through that we know we can look forward to finally seeing by the end of the film. She hates that her brother has is resorting to doing this for cash, but can't conceal her guilt that Mike's slowly growing on her. Tatum will never be accused of being an actor of incredible range (at least yet), but within that range he can be excel, as he proved earlier in the year with 21 Jump Street and Haywire. His low, one-key performance here is as strong as those, if not stronger because he has to carry much of the film's load as its title character.  He also has real sparks with newcomer Cody Horn, who simply possesses this grounded, natural likability on screen that does actually make you want to root for the potential couple to succeed and for Adam (whom Pettyfer plays with endearing cluelessness)  to stay out of trouble. Any guy reluctant to see this would have problems finding a better excuse than her.

When the initially shy and unassuming Adam starts falling in with the wrong crowd and is swallowep by the limelight, the film travels in a more familiar, but no less effective, route, as Mike struggles to keep his promise to look out for the kid. Hovering on the sidelines, but hanging over the movie like a dark cloud, is Matthew McConaughey's performance as Dallas. We really don't know anything about the guy and even the one scene in which he's discussed doesn't reveal much history, but it hardly matters. We sense everything there is to know the second McConaughey appears in the opening scene as the M.C. and in each appearance following it. This is a man consumed with the spotlight living all his dreams vicariously through his younger charges, whom he basically treats as cattle. Driven by greed and greener pastures in Miami, he'll have to be dragged offstage kicking and screaming before he's pathetically milked every last second of his 15 remaining minutes of notoriety. There's something hauntingly pathetic about it, and that trademark charisma and likability McConaughey brings to even the unworthiest projects is finally given its proper outlet, but with a sharper, darker edge that really plays to all his strengths (even incorporating his infamous bongo drumming skills).  Basically Mike is the future Dallas, unless he escapes out right now. The rest of the talent (played by Joe Manganiello, Matt Bomer, Adam Rodriguez and former WWE star Kevin Nash) don't figure in too much, but still have some funny individual character moments that give us a glimpses into their personalities and  the locker room atmosphere backstage. Olivia Munn has just a few scenes as Joanna, but in them she successfully manages to make  her pretentious character as unlikable and irritating as can be. And, yes, that's a compliment.

Magic Mike isn't a chick flick in the slightest. In fact, I'm more than willing to bet most women who see it expecting a comedic flesh fest will probably find it boring since the tone and content is so far removed from from what it was advertised as. It's actually about something, with the stripping world merely providing the fascinating backdrop for a story about a guy reaching a crossroads and needing to change. Even the way it's lensed, in that typical hazy, washed-out Soderbergh style he's perfected of late, suggests we're watching a documentary or being invited to just hang out and eavesdrop on these characters' lives. Some will find more fun in that approach than others, lending a bit of irony to the fact that the audience of serious moviegoers most likely to appreciate this are the ones least likely to give it a chance because of the subject matter or how they'll be perceived having seen it.The profession may be stripping, but that it could have been replaced with any other job and still been an interesting film speaks to the fact that the screenplay is, first and foremost, about these characters and their relationships, even while doubling as kind of a modern social commentary. I was hoping it would play like this. More truthfully, I was hoping it would play as anything other than what it was promoted as. Luckily, it does. And it's still a good time.                

21 Jump Street

Directors: Phil Lord and Chris Miller
Starring: Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Brie Larson, Dave Franco, Ellie Kemper, Rob Riggle, Ice Cube, Nick Offerman, Jake Johnson, Chris Parnell, Holly Robinson Peete, Johnny Depp
Running Time: 109 min.
Rating: R

★★★ ½ (out of ★★★★)

It's early on in 21 Jump Street when rookie officers and former high school classmates Morgan Schmidt (Jonah Hill) and Greg Jenko (Channing Tatum) are drolly informed by Capt. Hardy (Parks and Rec's Nick Offerman) that they've been taken off bicycle park duty and reassigned to the recently resurrected "Jump Street" project. He then goes on a rant about how the department lacks creativity and must pathetically recycle their old programs because they've run out of ideas. It was right about there that I sensed this could work. But I couldn't have guessed it would rank amongst the very best recent mainstream comedies, sharing only its title and (briefly) Johnny Depp with the cheesy 1980's FOX cop drama. Gut-bustingly hysterical from start to finish, it's the rare comedy where everything works and the laughs are firing on all cylinders. Subversive and smart, it executes what's actually a very clever premise to its fullest potential and then some. Eyes may have rolled when this project was announced, but the result isn't what you'd think. Not only does it avoid the creative fate of so many failed TV to film adaptations like the The A-Team, Miami Vice or Starsky and Hutch, but it wouldn't surprise me if it shows up on more than a few top 10 lists at the end of the year. Including mine. It's that good, ingeniously merging both the cop buddy movie and high school comedy formula for maximum enjoyment.

Reporting to the Jump Street chapel, Schmidt and Jenko are informed by the hotheaded Captain Dickson (Ice Cube) that, due to their youthful appearances, they've been selected to go undercover at a local high school to infiltrate a drug ring that led to a student's death. Posing as brothers, their intended fake identities are accidentally switched, forcing them to take each others' classes. But when they discover the dealer is popular student Eric (Dave Franco), both must make it a priority to take him down, even as Schmidt's falling for the  Molly (Brie Larson), a pretty girl in his drama class who's also Eric's girlfriend. Jenko hangs out with the nerds in AP Chemistry as his sexually frustrated teacher (Ellie Kemper) tries to put the moves on him. Mesmerized by their chance to re-live high school and engulfed in its social hierarchy, they're often so distracted that they forget they have a drug supplier to find and a potentially dangerous case to crack in order to be taken seriously as cops.  

The movie's best comedic moments are situational and the clever script by Michael Bacall is surprisingly high concept in how it marks the huge difference for these two characters from the first time they went through high school way back in 2005. In an embarrassingly hilarious and endearing opening flashback sequence we see Schmidt, with hair bleached blond like Eminem, attempt (and fail) to ask a popular girl to the prom as dumb jock Jenko mocks him. Years later they're helping each other get through police training, but when they arrive to go undercover they can't help but wonder if they'll settle right back into their teen roles again, with Jenko as the popular jock and Schmidt the nerd. But here's where the film's really smart in its execution. From the second they arrive, it's clear things aren't what they used to be. Bullying is now a serious offense, the jocks aren't as high on the social ladder, and drama class is actually considered cool. The explanation given for all this: "Glee." And ironically it seems the very same overbearing, sincere qualities that initially made Schmidt a loser his first go-around around make him insanely popular in this new environment.

With their switched identities, both are forced to do things we wouldn't expect from either the characters or actors playing them, which create most of the laughs. Just the thought of seeing Channing Tatum (who classmates justifiably think is about 40) giving a chemistry presentation or Jonah Hill playing Peter Pan in a school production would be funny enough on its own, but because the story actually gives us a  reason for it, these scenes play even funnier than they should. Taking this role was the best move Tatum could have possibly made, erasing the stigma that he's wooden and uncharismatic. He's definitely the straight man to the noticeably slimmed-down Hill, but his comic timing is impeccable, showing range as an actor beyond what was assumed. Pairing him with Hill was a masterstroke precisely because of how different they are physically and otherwise. You wouldn't expect them to have great chemistry together but once they get going, it's such a home run that it seems crazy someone didn't think of teaming them sooner. Hill has the trickier role, having to play up his emerging popularity while still viewing himself as somewhat of a loser because of his history. He's especially effective when he gets a taste of that unfamiliar, previously unattainable respect and it goes straight to his head, causing him to get so involved in this world that he practically forgets he's undercover. And as he does, we do as well because directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller do such a good job depicting this environment and everyone's place in it.

Brie Larson's Molly doesn't feel like your typical love interest and a far better written character than we're used to seeing in a comedy like this. Her relationship with the popular Eric isn't really even much of a relationship at all and that's fully acknowledged, giving her a real presence and personality that exists outside of her being on a guy's arm. But the biggest credit to the maturity and wit Larson brings to the role is that we're genuinely rooting for Hill's character to win this girl over and laughing too hard to even consider the moral or legal ramifications of an undercover cop picking up a high school student. Granted we know the actress is older and it's a comedy, but that's still impressive and proves the directors and actors really have a airtight grip on tone, allowing nothing to get in the way and somehow sidestepping any creepiness (the same applies to the sub-plot with Tatum and his teacher). It also helps that many of Larson's dialogue exchanges with Hill are authentic and funny. Just based on her work here, she seems primed to travel a route similar to Emma Stone, receiving the same massive, well deserved bump that actress experienced starring opposite Hill in Superbad. The impression she makes is just as strong.

Dave Franco, James Franco's younger brother, looks and acts exactly how you'd expect Franco's little bro to look and act, which can't be viewed as anything but a compliment. It's almost inaccurate to call his character a bully since he's a new kind of bully: The wuss. Eric doesn't exactly fit the standard teen movie profile of a jock with a hot girlfriend, and he's only slightly unlikable, allowing Franco to do something a little different with what's usually a tired character. As strong as Hill and Tatum are as a tandem, it's hard to envision the film being of the same quality with actors other than Larson and Franco opposite them. Comedian Rob Riggle also manages to really bring the sleaze as a scumbag gym teacher.

It probably seems like I've given away too much, but in actuality it's nothing. The real joy is in watching this clever story out and witnessing the chaotic and hysterical scenes unfold. Whether it's a wild drug trip, Schmidt's house party gone bad, a high speed car chase, a school play gone very wrong, or the exciting prom night climax, the movie rarely steps wrong and is consistently funny all the way through. And as for the expertly placed Depp cameo, he comes off more entertaining and energized during these brief moments on screen than he was on the original show that launched his career, and probably most of his recent movies. But this is Hill and Tatum's show. They own it, together comprising one of the more unusual and likable comic duos in a long time. Supposedly, the wheels are already in motion for a 21 Jump Street sequel, and if this film's quality is any indication of what's in store, it can't arrive soon enough.

Haywire

Director: Steven Soderbergh
Starring: Gina Carano, Michael Fassbender, Ewan McGregor, Bill Paxton, Channing Tatum, Antonio Banderas, Michael Douglas, Michael Angarano
Running Time: 93 min.
Rating: R

★★★ (out of ★★★★)

Steven Soderbergh's Haywire is both more and less than it seems. On one hand, it's an action movie. But on the other, it sort of isn't. It's a conventional spy story that's presented in an unconventional manner, exceeding and subverting expectations while strangely at the same time barely managing to meet them. A second viewing is probably in order, but with only one to go on it's safe to say it distinguishes itself from most other mainstream action movies not so much in terms of plot, but style. It feels like a not-so-distant art house cousin of Drive or The American in the sense that it'll turn off viewers expecting a fast-paced, non-stop mindless action extravaganza (its D+ CinemaScore proves it) and reward those looking for something a little different. But the real story coming out of it is the arrival of a legitimate female action star capable of believably kicking ass. Recently, we've had Angelina Jolie in Salt and Zoe Saldana in Columbiana corner the action market in terms of charisma and willingness to get their hands dirty, but in terms of pure physicality and presence, former MMA fighter and first-time actress Gina Carano puts them both to shame. And her casting that proves just how ingenious Soderbergh is in tailoring his movies to the strengths of his stars.

The film opens in a diner in upstate New York, where we meet Mallory Kane (Carano), a contracted covert operations agent with a private firm employed by the government for missions they'd rather wash their hands of. She sits with a man named Aaron (Channing Tatum) who she thrillingly kicks the crap out of over coffee, breaking his arm and escaping with the help of passing customer Scott (Michael Angarano), who has no idea what he's just gotten himself into to. In flashback, we're told the story of how she was sent by her boss and ex-boyfriend Kenneth (Ewan McGregor) to do a job in Dublin where she'd pose as the wife of a British agent named Paul (Michael Fassbender). But it's all a set-up, putting in motion a chain of events that cause her to go on the run, alternating between being the hunter and the hunted, all while trying to uncover who betrayed her and why.

Initially, the narrative framing device is confusing because it takes a bit to differentiate what's happening in the present from the flashback scenes as the title cards indicate shifts in location (Dublin, Barcelona and New York for anyone keeping track) rather than time. It's worth noting how the picture looks since it doesn't quite visually resemble any other recent action movie. The color looks washed out and the image dim and out of focus, no doubt a deliberate choice by Soderbergh who often works as his own cinematographer in his films and wanted to distinguish this from the slick blockbusters we've grown accustomed to. Once we catch up the plot is pretty basic so most of the thrills come from the style and execution. Otherwise deliberately paced, when the action scenes do arrive they're brutally realistic, especially a hotel room confrontation between Carano and Fassbender that has to rank amongst the most exciting intergender onscreen fights in recent memory. Most of the rest of the action is saved for the final half hour, but it's worth the wait.

What Soderbergh does for Carano is almost exactly what he did for adult film star Sasha Grey in The Girlfriend Experience in taking an untrained actress and placing them in a carefully structured project that plays up their strengths while covering their weaknesses. On a lesser scale it's comparable with what Darren Aronofsky did for Natalie Portman in Black Swan by not only hiding her weaknesses as actress, but actually incorporating them into her character and transforming them into strengths. Soderbergh's careful not to give Carano long monologues and dialogue-heavy scenes that would expose her inexperience, instead playing up her intensity and presence. There's no need for tons of emotion in a movie like this and he's wise to not let Carano attempt to supply any. She's a bad-ass. Plain and simple. But in instances she's called upon to do more in "acting" scenes opposite her seasoned co-stars, she still holds her own, proving she can only improve as a performer moving forward. Pretty and powerful, it's not out of the question she could emerge as a the female equivalent of Jason Statham if she attaches herself to projects that make the best use of her talents. And unlike other action heroines, the ex-American Gladiator doesn't at all look like she can be snapped like a twig.

Soderbergh cleverly plugs in his star-heavy cast in utility supporting roles with Ewan McGregor relishing the rare opportunity to play a sleaze and Michael Douglas slipping into familiar authority figure mode as a powerful government agent. Even Channing Tatum fares really well as Mallory's ex-lover and potential adversary. But the real standout is Fassbender, who in his brief, but extremely memorable turn as a suave, dangerous British agent gives just cause to terminate Daniel Craig's 007 contract after his next outing. As perfect a fit as Carano would seem to be for Wonder Woman, Fassbender is for James Bond. And since the films cover much of the same territory it also wouldn't be off base to claim that the stuck-in-a-rut Bond franchise could stand to look and feel more like this.      

If there's anything holding the film back from greatness it's Lem Dobbs' script, which taken altogether seems very conventional and ordinary despite its sometimes convoluted presentation. It's a simple story told in a complicated way that succeeds in making you fell like you're watching something of considerable substance. Without Soderbergh's stylistic choices and such a believable, intimidating lead it wouldn't work at the level it does. But those elements are there and it does work because of them, making me think that once you have the story all sorted out on the first viewing, everything else will likely improve on subsequent ones. Besides marking the arrival of an exciting new action actress, it also provides a reason to re-examine just how talented a filmmaker Soderbergh is. Unlike any of his peers, he's been able to successfully alternate between low budget indie projects and mainstream blockbusters. Now with Haywire, he's proven himself capable of combining both.

Dear John

Director: Lasse Hallstrom
Starring: Channing Tatum, Amanda Seyfried, Richard Jenkins, Henry Thomas, Scott Porter
Running Time: 108 min.
Rating: PG-13

★★ (out of ★★★★)

When Dear John was released this past February and broke Avatar's seven week stranglehold on the box office, I rolled my eyes, pitying guys across the country who were undoubtedly dragged to the chick flick tearjerker by their girlfriends in exchange for having to sit through the Super Bowl. It seemed like a fair enough trade, until you consider that the possibly more painful Valentine's Day was set to be released the following week. Now that's officially crossing the line. So much so that it could take as many as three Jason Statham movies and whatever Megan Fox has in pre-production for us to eventually even the score.

As someone who never minded "taking one for the team" for the sake of an enlightening review and find these kinds of films unintentionally hilarious, I'm happy to report that Dear John could have actually been a lot worse. At times, parts of it come close to working. It's just unfortunate that from the early going the script has trouble conveying this supposed life-transforming romance in a realistic way. Pivotal early scenes fail to connect like they need to and when the movie does eventually start to find its bearings, it drags on and on, wondering what to do and ending about five times (excluding the unused alternate one) before just fading away. When even the film isn't sure whether it wants the two main characters to be together, how can it expect us to be? But it does earn points for trying. Autism, 9/11, cancer, disabled veterans, Habitat for Humanity and obsessive coin collecting fight for screen time at various points in a screenplay overstuffed with enough drama and hardship to make Precious jealous.

While on leave in Charleston, S.C., Special Forces soldier John Tyree (Channing Tatum) meets angelic college student Savannah Curtis (Amanda Seyfried) after retrieving her purse off the side of a pier. In just a matter of days they fall in love and Savannah introduces her to her family, as well as her friend and neighbor, Tim (Henry Thomas--Elliott from E.T.!) whose autistic son, Alan (Braeden Reed) thinks the world of her. Much more hesitant is John to bring her home to meet his reclusive father (Richard Jenkins), an avid coin collector who may also be "mildly" autistic. This is according to an unqualified (but likely accurate) diagnosis from Savannah. The whole presentation of this sub-plot is strange, intending to create a false crisis in the relationship early on. But the real crisis arrives when John re-enlists following 9/11 and their feelings are tested long-distance through the mail in the "Dear John" letters of the film's title.

The first quarter of the picture spends more time talking about autism than it does exploring the actual relationship between these two which isn't exactly presented in the most mature way possible, especially when you consider it mostly revolves around games of hide and seek and frolicking in rain storms. That it feels more like a case of pre-teen puppy love than two young adults in a meaningful relationship is a nagging flaw that taints most of the film. Had the early scenes contained more substance and the writing been stronger, the separation that comes later would mean more. Instead, the characterizations of Savannah and John are lazily phoned in to meet the functional needs of the script. She's the saint and he's the bad boy with a quick temper. That's the full extent of it.

Tatum's been accused of being too wooden, but his approach is appropriate for this kind of role and I appreciate him not playing it as a lovelorn wimp. His character was at least strong and no-nonsense and now in his third starring role as a soldier (following Stop-Loss and G.I. Joe), he's believable in the war scenes, which are surprisingly well-handled. He'll never be accused of being the most charismatic actor around and while the chief motivation behind his casting was to attract female moviegoers, what he does in this works as well as it can given the limitations imposed on him by the writing. That statement holds doubly true for Richard Jenkins work as Mr. Tyree. Autism may be used as a cheap emotional ploy in the screenplay but he does everything possible to avoid us noticing that with a subtle, believable portrayal of someone who could be suffering from the disease. The sub-plot involving his history with John and the coin collecting was more compelling than anything having to do with the romance. Some may question what an accomplished Academy Award nominated actor is doing in a movie like this I commend him for taking a thankless role and trying to make something of it. Like everyone else though, his best efforts are undercut by dumb screenwriting decisions.

Seyfried once again rises above mediocre material and is at least given a little more support from Tatum than she was from Megan Fox in the lifeless Jennifer's Body. Possessing a natural charisma and luminous likability that commands the screen, she almost sells the ridiculous, out of left field decisions Savannah makes in the final third of the film. When an actress has headlines two big hits the size of this and Mamma Mia! and even comes out of bad movies gaining more respect for being the best thing in them, you could possibly consider it a coincidence. But I don't get that impression with her. She's obviously worked hard to transcend her TV roots and bring substance to flimsy parts like this that are often undeserving of her efforts.

The story oddly gains some traction when the two are separated but then proceeds to squander that brief flash of potential as it enters its bizarre third act, employing a "YEARS LATER" flash forward gimmick that yields silly results. A key twist involving how Savannah has moved on since his deployment is especially ridiculous and will have many scratching their heads in disbelief. I know I was. This was right around the same time I lost patience with all the false endings that deny viewers exactly what they came to see. Even when the script finally decides what direction to take, it's too late. If you're going to commit to making a sappy chick flick at least know to finish it right and send audiences home happy.

It's a shame the picture feels like it was manufactured on an assembly line because it looks good and the performers were trying. But when a movie is supposed to be a romance and the central relationship doesn't work, that's a major fail. Having obviously not read the Nicholas Sparks' novel on which this is based, I don't know how far the movie's many start-and-stop endings in the last twenty minutes veer from the source material. The final onscreen product indicates something decided on by a bickering studio committee that couldn't get on the same page for a conclusion. It really misses the mark in attaining the same guilty pleasure cheesiness of other Sparks adaptations like The Notebook and A Walk to Remember. Instead, it only serves to remind us that Amanda Seyfried is a talented actress who can now look forward to starring in movies substantially better than Dear John.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Director: Stephen Sommers
Starring: Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Rachel Nichols, Ray Park, Christopher Eccleston, Sienna Miller, Lee Byung-hun, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Dennis Quaid
Running Time: 118 min.
Rating: PG-13

★★ 1/2 (out of ★★★★)

It isn't often I approach a movie in the mindset of a whiny fanboy but in the case of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, I feel entitled. As a childhood fan who watched the cartoon, collected all the figures and knew every character, I both eagerly anticipated and dreaded this big screen interpretation. Ever since the project was announced I had my suspicions of it and based just on the trailers and early promotional materials, severely questioned the direction the project was going in. In fact, I was so certain a cinematic disaster was on the horizon that I even promised a letter of apology to director Stephen Sommers if he could somehow pull this off. He doesn't, but this "re-imagining" of my beloved franchise is far from a bastardization and comes dangerously close to working, getting a few key elements right (the pitch-perfect rendering of some major characters), but unfortunately others dreadfully wrong (an embarrassing performance from a veteran actor).

While I can't get on board with the decision to aim the film at 10-year-olds and the script is nearly a sham, the movie does strangely capture at least some part of what made G.I. Joe special. What that part is I'm almost afraid to admit, but the movie is fully aware of its goofy charms and mostly succeeds in what it's trying to do. If something like this raked in the money that Transformers: ROTF did this past summer I'd at least understand. I wouldn't necessarily agree, but I'd understand. It almost accomplishes everything that the other Hasbro adaptation failed at doing, and perhaps partially due to low expectations, is much better than I expected.

On one hand my familiarity with the source material helps, but on another it doesn't because I'd helplessly hold the film to a standard it could probably never meet, even under the best of circumstances. I took the small victories where I could get them with this one and wondered whether my opinion would have been any different if this didn't carry the "G.I. Joe" name tag and all the childhood memories accompanying it. In a way, the movie never really had a fighting chance, which is a shame because there are some good things here and it'll likely be more fun for uninitiated, less demanding audience members.

After a centuries old flashback sequence, the movie opens in the not-so-distant future where weapons expert and head of the M.A.R.S. program, James McCullen (Christopher Eccleston) has created nano-technology warheads he's selling to NATO. In charge of transporting the weapons are U.S. Army soldiers Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans), who find themselves under attack from Cobra forces hell-bent on intercepting them. They're led by Anastasia DeCobray a.k.a. The Baroness (Sienna Miller) who shares a personal history with Duke that's never quite as interesting as the movie wants it to be. Duke and Ripcord are rescued by General Hawk (Dennis Quaid, beyond awful) and acclimated into his G.I. Joe secret ops team. They'll team with the black-masked ninja Snakes Eyes (Ray Park), leather-clad Scarlett (Rachel Nichols), and the authoritative Heavy Duty (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) to do battle with McCullen, The Baroness and their Cobras, consisting of Snake Eyes' childhood nemesis Storm Shadow (Lee Byung-hun), the diabolical Zartan (Arnold Vosloo) and the deformed "Doctor" (Joseph-Gordon Levitt) who will go on to become Cobra Commander.

Surprisingly, many of the performances are adequate...with one HUGE exception. From the first moment he appears onscreen as General Hawk (laughably in the form of a Princess Leia type hologram) Dennis Quaid has this expression on his face asking, "WHERE'S MY PAYCHECK?" He looks embarrassed and physically uncomfortable even though there really isn't anything he should feel humiliated about, aside from maybe his costume. The movie isn't THAT bad (at least when he's not onscreen) and there shouldn't be THAT much shame involved for appearing in it. In a film full of clunky dialogue it always seems to sound clunkiest when it's delivered by the befuddled Quaid who flatly recites his line readings without the slightest bit of confidence or conviction, and a permanently blank expression etched on his face. He's done great work in the past which is why it scares me so much that he's capable of giving a performance worthy of a Razzie Award. Things don't improve much for him in the second half either when he's called upon to do virtually the same thing, except in a wheelchair. When the leader of your dangerous secret special ops unit can't be taken the slightest bit seriously it creates a major problem for the story.

On the flips side of that is Sienna Miller as The Baroness, who captures everything fans could have imagined that character to be on the big screen and then some. She's treated as a huge deal by the screenplay not only because she's a pivotal character in the franchise's mythology, but Miller's take on her warrants that attention. Unfortunately, a decision is made in the final act that's a complete betrayal of the character's methodology and it's no fault of Miller's that she can't do anything for the forced and sometimes ill-placed flashback scenes to her pre-Cobra days as Ana. Besides taking great liberties with the G.I. Joe folklore (which I actually didn't mind) many of the film's backstories, as entertaining and informative as they sometimes are, don't do a whole lot to flesh out the characters and play almost like a cheap soap opera. The one that plays best involves the origin of the Doctor but the studio kind of shot itself in the foot before the film was released by revealing the identity of Cobra Commander.

Despite Joseph-Gordon-Levitt being hidden under layers of makeup and a mask and impressively doing a deeper, more serious variation on Chris Latta's voice from the '80's cartoon, the revelation of who he is and his relationship to Ana is telegraphed very early on. A smarter script would have worked harder to conceal the information and paid it off as a big twist. At least it would have been a better twist than the lukewarm cliffhanger we're given in the film's final minutes, even if the intended audience for this likely couldn't care less. His transformation, as well as McCullen's into the infamous Destro, strangely felt very sudden instead of something that was brewing the entire film. And I don't even know what to say about Eccleston's bizarre, high-pitched attempt at a sinister Scottish accent.

Of all the performers, Miller and Levitt have the strongest grasp on the material they were given and the material benefits because of it. They showed up to play, not phone it in like Quaid who keeps finding ways to make the screenplay seem stupider than it is, which is no small chore. Luckily, the same can't be said for Lee Byung-hun as Storm Shadow, whose longstanding feud with the Snake Eyes (fitted in a really silly looking mask) is one of the more successful backstories conjured up for the film. The decision to have all the characters in essentially the same uniforms wasn't a great call in terms of distinguishing them but it isn't the horror I expected when I first saw the promotional posters. Tatum, Wayans and Nichols do a fair enough job giving each of their characters distinctive personalities that it doesn't become an issue. So while their casting looked suspect on paper, all three carry their load just fine with a fun, if predictable interplay developing between Ripcord and Scarlett.

My worries about the CGI sequences were mostly unfounded. That's not to say they're necessarily that well done or believable looking but they accomplish what's necessary for this kind of popcorn movie. I have to admit my eyes were glued to the screen and many of the fight scenes and chase sequences (especially one with the Joes speeding through Paris in their "accelerator suits") are compulsively watchable despite of their cheesiness. Given the tone of the movie, I can't think of another way they could have done this and it be as effective. Even though the final act goes on slightly too long and devolves into an air assault on the senses, the movie, at its best, contain elements reminiscent of Star Wars. There's holograms, a weird sibling dynamic, a face-off that recalls the lightsaber battle in The Phantom Menace, a Vader-like transformation and the Cobra vipers are basically interchangeable with storm troopers. It's a credit to Sommers that it feels more like an homage than a rip-off.

That this is even a close close call for me is miraculous considering all the ingredients were in place for this to be a complete disaster and completely tarnish the brand. I wasn't necessarily left looking forward to another installment but the franchise does have some potential moving forward if they continue to develop already existing characters and add intriguing new ones. There's at least a framework to build on, even if I have doubts the filmmakers are actually interested in exploring it. We all knew the juvenile direction they'd go in and to an extent it worked well as that, but anyone who thinks it didn't have the potential to be more is kidding themselves. This is a mixed bag that will please younger fans while reminding older ones of the fun they had playing with the toys and the movie they imagined could eventually come of it. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra only suffers from not being that movie.

Top 5 Reasons G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra Seems Destined to Suck

I usually can't stand it when people judge something before they've even seen it. But sometimes...you just can't help yourself. Sometimes, you just get this "feeling" based on posters, trailers, TV spots, word of mouth or what have you that a certain movie is destined to fail. That all the wrong decisions were made even before the cameras started rolling. You want to approach it with an open mind but the warning signs are all there, too glaring to ignore. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is such a film. I'm not among the many who seem to feel making a G.I. Joe movie is a bad idea. Quite the opposite. I think it's a fantastic one with loads of potential. If anything, I'm shocked it took this long for it to happen. And that's why the direction it looks like they've taken with the material is so disappointing.

When Michael Bay's Transformers opened two years ago I kept my mouth shut. I wasn't a big fan of the cartoon as a kid, didn't collect the toys, so I couldn't have cared less what Bay did with it. But there were a lot of hardcore fans who did and I appreciated where they were coming from and how passionate they were that the cartoon they grew up on was done justice on the big screen. For all the criticism Bay took and still takes, when push came to shove, he delivered a film that was for the most part true to the source material, with certain understandable changes made to appeal to mainstream audiences unfamiliar with the toyline or cartoon. Some hated the movie, but most of them hate all Bay movies anyway and had zero interest in seeing a Transformers feature film in the first place. Bottom line: He came through.

G.I. Joe is a different story for me. I literally grew up on it to the point that a couple of years ago I browsed through a guide that prices old figures and discovered that had I kept everything that was listed, I'd probably be a millionaire right now. Since the project was announced I've been watching it VERY carefully and if this doesn't work out I'm going to have to take it a little personally.

If you can get past the movie's clunky, over-explanatory title (almost as bad as calling a movie X-Men Origins: Wolverine) there are other much bigger issues facing this seemingly doomed film. The only bright side here is that at least the casting doesn't appear to be horrific. It's mostly uninspired and lazy, but they could have done worse. I find it hilarious that diehards have been complaining about the casting of Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Cobra Commander on the silly basis that's he's "too young," especially considering this is an ORIGIN story and he'll be under a mask for the majority of the picture. Little do they know he's the only hope this movie has at succeeding provided he's given a story arc that takes full advantage of his talent (which is a real long shot).

As for Sienna Miller as the Baroness, you could have dyed any actress's hair black, stuck some glasses on her and it would have worked. As such, I suspect Miller should do fine. This isn't Shakespeare. Dennis Quaid looks like a complete fool in this costume but in theory he makes sense for General Hawk. That I'm completely unfamiliar with the actor playing Destro (Christopher Eccleston) might be a good thing. Channing Tatum (as Duke) and Marlon Wayans (as Ripcord) are the lazy, uninspired choices I'm referring to. And I'm confused as to why the minor character of Ripcord is even heavily featured in the film when better options were available. That said, if the problems below are any indication there isn't anything any actor or actress could do to salvage the film. You're probably wondering why I'm listing ONLY 5 reasons this movie looks like it will suck. What can I say? I'm feeling kind.

1. It's directed by Stephen Sommers. Deep Rising. The Mummy. The Mummy. Van Helsing. I'm not doubting that's the resume of someone capable of helming a top-tier summer tentpole franchise, but I am saying that G.I. Joe shouldn't feel like it is. Sometimes the simplest explanation works: If the director is bad, the film will be. Shouldn't we have learned that lesson already from Terminator Salvation?

2. An over-reliance on unconvincing CGI and digital effects, which even if they were done well, shouldn't be showcased to this extent. It's not a franchise like Transformers, that needs to be driven completely on huge visual effects and explosions. Just watch this trailer...if you can. It's painful.



3. It takes place in the future. Huh? I thought this was G.I. Joe, not Blade Runner. I wonder how many people always envisoned this movie taking place in a futuristic society. I'm guessing not many, even those who aren't fans. They should have set it during World War II. Just the thought of that opens up all sorts of intriguing possibilities.

4. They made it your typical superhero/fantasy movie. Tatum has described the film as "Mission Impossible meets Transformers meets X-Men." Sadly, I fear that's accurate. If it is, that's a great reason to stay home on August 7 and rent the 1987 animated feature instead. Ever since The Dark Knight was released last year there was rampant theorizing as to which franchises could be "Nolanized" and given a darker, more reality based treatment akin to that film. For most it just wouldn't fit. For G.I. Joe that approach would work.

They should have approached this as a war film and played it completely straight. I'm not saying it should be an R-rated Saving Private Ryan or The Thin Red Line, but it can be fun AND still be taken seriously. Too bad the studios are wusses and refuse to release any war film during a time of war, unless it pushes a preachy liberal agenda. Just look at this rendering of what Cobra Commander is supposed to look like and tell me this material doesn't scream out for a darker treatment.

5. The posters. Have you ever seen worse promotional artwork for a movie? It's like they didn't even care. Besides confirming the feeling that they captured the wrong tone, it's ugly and doesn't make you want to see the movie unless you had a gun to your head. All the characters look exactly the same, have no identifiable visual characteristics and could have very well stepped out of any generic superhero of the month lineup. And I hope you like black spandex and tight leather. The only two characters it looks like they didn't completely screw up were Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow (pictured above), but they were easy. At risk of sounding like a whiny fanboy, if the original costumes were fine, why change them?

Why am I wasting my time analyzing a movie I haven't seen? Because the folks at Paramount apparently couldn't be bothered to. I never thought I'd ever actually agree with the infamous Ben Lyons, but when he recently said that this movie doesn't look like it will capture the "heart and soul" of the toys or original cartoon it pains me to admit he's completely right. Hopefully, I'm wrong. Nothing would make me happier. If not, and it still does well commercially (as bad movies tend to these days), they may have another chance down the line to fix any problems. Until then, I'll be crossing my fingers that my review for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra ends up being a letter of apology to Mr. Sommers.