Top Gun: Maverick

Director: Joseph Kosinki
Starring: Tom Cruise, Miles Teller, Jennifer Connelly, Jon Hamm, Glen Powell, Ed Harris, Val Kilmer, Lewis Pullman, Monica Barbaro, Charles Parnell, Danny Ramirez, Bashir Salahuddin, Manny Jacinto, Raymond Lee, Lyliana Wray, Jean Louisa Kelly
Running Time: 130 min.
Rating: PG-13

★★★★ (out of ★★★★)

When the final book's written on Tom Cruise's career, it's a pretty safe bet that Top Gun: Maverick, the long awaited follow-up to his 1986 blockbuster, will be one of the primary talking points. The actor not only reenergizes familiarly nostalgic material so well you'd think he never left his rule-breaking pilot behind, but director Joseph Kosinki delivers a film that summons the spirit of Tony Scott's original. Expertly made with the sensibilities of a huge 80's action spectacle, it takes everything that was special about its predecessor and expands upon it, resulting in a pitch perfect sequel that surpasses the highest of expectations. On a technical level, there's little doubt these action scenes are superior, but what's more impressive is Kosinki's firm grasp on what was needed for this to really work, just as he previously proved with his criminally overlooked TRON: Legacy. 

The movie knows what it is and wastes no time getting there, making for one of the breezier, endlessly enjoyable 130 minutes you could spend watching a huge budget franchise movie. And while a quintessential big screen experience, it's still not hard to imagine viewers returning to it from the comfort of their own couches for a while to come. And by providing thrills that go beyond the adrenaline-fueled flight sequences, it further establishes Cruise as an expert at managing his own brand, again navigating the line that separates movie star and actor. This is the best possible combination of both, proving an ideal showcase for his talents and a welcome surprise for those understandably complaining they just don't make them like they used to.

Over 30 years after graduating from the TOPGUN program, U.S. Navy Captain Pete "Maverick" Mitchell (Cruise) is a test pilot whose constant insubordination and recklessness has kept him from rising up the ranks. But upon hearing that Rear Admiral Chester "Hammer" Cain (Ed Harris) is shutting down his jet program in favor of funding killer drones, Maverick responds by flying a prototype jet beyond Mach 10 and into high-hypersonic in a last ditch attempt to save the program.

Just as Caine intends to ground him for the stunt, Maverick's old friend and current U.S. Pacific Fleet Commander Tom "Iceman" Kazansky (Val Kilmer) intervenes to save his career, assigning him to NAS North Island, where he's ordered to train an elite group of TOPGUN graduates for an extremely dangerous mission. As a disinterested Maverick is tasked with leading a new team to the bottom of an enemy nation's canyon to destroy an unsanctioned uranium enrichment plant, Naval Air Force Commander Beau "Cyclone" Simpson (Jon Hamm) takes a strong disliking to the cocky, headstrong pilot, based mostly on reputation alone. 

Further complicating matters is that one of Maverick's students is Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw (Miles Teller), son of his late best friend, Goose, who resents him for intentionally sitting on papers that held up his military career. He'll not only have to earn Rooster's respect, but that of the team's other pilots like flashy LT Jake "Hangman" Seresin (Glen Powell), determined LT Natasha "Phoenix" Trace (Monica Barbaro) and the unassuming oddball LT Robert "Bob" Floyd (Lewis Pullman). Struggling to let go of the past, Maverick reconnects with ex-girlfriend and bar owner Penny Benjamin (Jennifer Connelly). But he'll need to step up, as the future of the entire TOPGUN program and the safety of these pilots now falls entirely on him.

Where Maverick's head is at decades after the original's events concluded makes sense given what we've known about the character. He definitely wouldn't be a higher ranking officer given his rebellious propensities and was inevitable he'd still be punishing himself over Goose's death all these years later. But screenwriters Ehren Kruger, Eric Warren singer and Christopher McQuarrie use this as a jumping off point to inject fresh blood into the story, returning a beaten down but still highly skilled Maverick back to his old stomping grounds, as the last remaining vestige of a bygone era. 

Disrespected and underestimated by establishment loyalists like Cain and Cyclone, he's viewed as a hotheaded liability standing in the way of evolving technology. He's warned his day is coming, an ironic statement given how the film's built on honoring the past, or more specifically, repurposing the strengths of Scott's original for modern audiences. Middle-aged Maverick is still the same daredevil, but those tactics are frowned upon and whatever remains of his career depends on Iceman keeping him afloat.

Iceman gives Maverick this assignment not as some kind of favor, but because he's the right man for the job and the pilots need his guidance to form a cohesive unit. Iceman knows Maverick's his own worst enemy and their emotional scene together draws parallels between the characters' shared history,  weaving Val Kilmer's own cancer struggle into Ice's narrative in a manner that feels inspiring rather than tasteless. What Kilmer does in place of his vocal limitations makes this brief reunion soar, with the actor saying more with his eyes and facial expressions than most actors could in words. Cruise matches him beat-for-beat and the events that follow only lend more weight to a conversation that will have more than a few fans fighting back tears.

Rather than take the predictable, unimaginative way out in having Rooster blame Maverick for his father's death, the script tackles their tension from a different angle, with the mentor determined to keep a well-intentioned promise that's no longer as relevant as he thinks. The idea he's still suffering from PTSD of sorts over his best friend's death has led him to fear history repeating itself with Rooster, creating an intriguing dynamic and tension that permeates through their scenes together.

Rooster and Hangman's feud mirrors Maverick's classic one with Iceman and largely stems from their wildly different flying philosophies and hunger to be the best. Unfortunately, Rooster hasn't yet fully harnessed his capabilities and plays it safe while Hangman's showboating arrogance endangers everyone else. A well cast, mustachioed Miles Teller seems every bit Goose's son (especially in his scenes opposite Cruise) as Glen Powell channels Harrison Ford's Han Solo with a memorably charismatic supporting turn. 

The rest of the team have easily identifiable personality traits and quirks that make them easy to root for, but aren't overdone. The pilots have a job to do and the disciplined script keeps the focus there, with some well placed character moments and Top Gun call backs to compliment it. The original's campier elements are toned down, with the iconic but undeniably silly beach volleyball sequence channeled in the form of a similar football game that does a better job moving the story forward while eliminating the cringe factor.  

The Maverick and Penny romantic subplot cited by some as a weak spot is actually far from it, serving as a blueprint for exactly how such a storyline should be handled in this kind of picture. Casting Jennifer Connelly was a masterstroke, but the writers take a throwaway reference to this unseen admiral's daughter character from the original and cleverly expand upon it, correctly assuming diehards will get onboard and the uninitiated won't feel lost. That the pair already have an established shorthand and rocky history spares us an awkward introduction or feeling out process.We know just enough. 

Connelly never makes single mom Penny a Kelly McGillis replacement, but rather the only character besides Iceman who understands what makes Maverick tick having come from a similar world. As the rare age appropriate on screen love interest for the actor, she and Cruise share an effortless chemistry, now giving the long underrated, swooned over Connelly greater exposure with that elusive blockbuster hit she's deserved for decades. She also brings something completely different out of Cruise, who's probably never been this likeably human as a romantic lead before.  

The exhilarating last act utilizes practical effects along with some seamless CGI and VFX for the awe inspiring flight scenes. It probably helps that the actors are actually inside the cockpits with the cameras, and though they're not piloting the jets, were extensively trained as if they are. While the closing mission visually and narratively recalls the destruction of the Death Star at the end of Star Wars: A New Hope, it takes a turn with Maverick and Rooster relying on each other to survive what seems like an insurmountable predicament.

Kosinki and Cruise's Mission: Impossible editor Eddie Hamilton earn credit for keeping everything tight and exciting, leaving viewers hanging off their seats as they hurl toward a rousing resolution that doesn't overstay its welcome. Claudio Miranda's amazing aerial cinematography, Han Zimmer's throwback score (incorporating elements of the original's theme), and yes, even Kenny Loggins' "Danger Zone," bolster the overall package, ticking every box possible for a legacy sequel. 

Delayed in post-production with multiple writers attached, few took Top Gun: Maverick seriously going in. But again we underestimated Cruise's superhuman ability to enforce quality control in his projects. He'll eventually have to move onto smaller, more character driven parts, but that he can make this feel like one of those is why we can wait. A seamless blend of action and plot, he takes us on the ultimate ride, proving his onscreen authenticity and understanding of what audiences want is what's always separated him from the pack. After watching it, that Days of Thunder sequel suddenly doesn't seem like such a bad idea anymore.                                                

MacGruber

Director: Jorma Taccone
Starring: Will Forte, Kristen Wiig, Ryan Phillippe, Val Kilmer, Maya Rudolph
Running Time: 90 min.
Rating: Unrated

★★★ (out of ★★★★)

Ever watch a comedy you just know is stupid (and I mean insanely stupid) but find yourself laughing uncontrollably through every minute of it anyway, possibly against your better judgment? Such is the case of my viewing of MacGruber, which could barely hold its own as a comedic premise for 90 seconds as a Saturday Night Live skit, yet somehow, someway works better as a 90-minute feature film. It's unlikely the audience who will get the most laughs out of this have even heard of the '80's action television drama MacGyver and that hardly makes a difference because this isn't really a spoof of that (Richard Dean Anderson surprisingly doesn't even appear). The skits on SNL are and it would be hard to sustain a full length feature comedy spoofing a retro cult show built around one joke. Luckily, this has many jokes, most of which are vulgar disgusting gross-outs that almost always hit their mark. Many will hate this with a passion and find it humorless, which is understandable because what anyone finds funny is so specific to that viewer. Basically, if you liked Hot Rod you'll like this, and if you didn't, then you'll hate it. That makes perfect sense since the same uncredited writer on that film (SNL writer Jorma Taccone) directed this one and it features the same dry but perverse sense of humor. If nothing else, everyone can maybe at least agree on one thing: Val Kilmer is the man.

If not for the hilarious opening credit theme song it would be difficult to tell within first few minutes that this is a comedy because the unusually detailed (at least for type of a film) plot is presented so straight it could easily be mistaken for an actual episode of MacGyver.  Believed to be dead but really retired special ops agent MacGruber (Will Forte) is called back into action by his boss, Col. James Faith (Powers Boothe) when it's discovered his arch-nemesis Dieter Von Cunth (Kilmer) has recently gained possession of a nuclear warhead. The two have a bitter history revolving around MacGruber's deceased girlfriend Casey (Maya Rudolph), depicted in some pretty memorable flashback sequences. To thwart Cunth's plan and stop him from obtaining the pass codes needed to launch the rocket, he assembles a crack team of WWE wrestlers who he accidentally kills with his own supply of C-4 explosives. This ends up being a blessing in disguise since it spares us from seeing these guys attempt to act past a single scene or two and sets up a couple of good jokes later about the ridiculous circumstances surrounding their deaths.  In their place he recruits longtime friend Vicki St. Elmo (Kristen Wiig) and more reluctantly stoic newbie Lt. Dixon Piper (Ryan Phillippe), and leads them into battle against Cunth with a variety of silly strategies that make sense to only him.

The laughs don't fully pick up steam until St. Elmo and Piper are officially added to the team, at which point the script goes on a hot streak of clever jokes and sight gags that don't subside for over an hour straight. Most center around MacGruber's delusional strategy for successfully executing the mission, which includes proudly letting Cunth know he's actually alive, sending St. Elmo into a death trap disguised as himself and using Dixon as a human shield. Just about the only commonality the plot shares with its TV influence is MacGruber's penchant for executing escape plans with common household items since he doesn't carry a gun, though I doubt MacGyver would have ever come up with a use for a celery stick that's as creative or disgusting, not that he'd want to. Phillipe somehow finds a way to keep a straight face through this entire thing while Wiig, the only actress not named Tina Fey or Anna Faris who's legitimately funny, plays St. Elmo with the perfect mix of gullibility and cluelessness.

But with his dry, droll line delivery and deadpan reactions to MacGruber's schemes, it's Val Kilmer who owns the movie, which shouldn't surprise anyone, but will anyway, since no actor has done more and gotten less credit than he has throughout his legendary career. Whether he's American rock idol Nick Rivers in the cult comedy Top Secret!, punching out Tom Cruise on the set of Top Gun (if it's okay with him I'd like to retroactively insert the phrase, "And THAT'S for Katie" after he lands the blow), playing Madmartigan in the '80's fantasy classic Willow, embodying Jim Morrison in The Doors, Doc Holiday in Tombstone, surviving Batman Forever, more than holding his own with Pacino and DeNiro in Heat, trying to outcrazy Marlon Brando in The Island of Dr. Moreau, taking on the role of Simon Templar in The Saint, believably playing a blind man in At First Sight, a tattooed meth addict in The Salton Sea, porn star and alleged murderer John Holmes in Wonderland, protecting the President's daughter in Spartan or playing a gay private investigator opposite Robert Downey, Jr. in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Kilmer has never phoned anything in and even this silly role is no exception. Just his presence as the heavy (in more ways than one) is hilarious enough, but as usual he doesn't stop there. Many actors probably would have just cluelessly hammed it up, but not the brilliant Kilmer, who approaches this dead seriously as if he were really a dangerous mercenary in a hardcore action thriller. Because of him, everything Forte does as MacGruber (and he has this goofy character down pat) becomes that much funnier.  This wouldn't have been nearly as entertaining with anyone else as the villain, as the hilarious climactic showdown proves. Here's hoping he soon gets a part (not this) that launches a Mickey Rourke-like comeback because no one's more overdue for respect. He'll be unfairly mocked and criticized for taking this but no one can say he didn't go all out like he always does.

Having seen the unrated cut, not the R rated theatrical one, I couldn't tell you exactly how much further this version goes but it really paid off for them to go as far as possible because nothing would have hurt the film more than holding back on the vulgar humor. Also, bonus points for the very appropriate '80's soft rock soundtrack featuring Toto and Mr. Mister, as well as the year's best graveyard ghost sex scene. Maybe it's faint praise to call this one of the stronger SNL big screen adaptations when it's competition includes Superstar, Stuart Saves His Family, A Night at the Roxbury, The Ladies' Man and It's Pat (which I still say had POTENTIAL as a movie idea), so we'll just call it Lorne Michaels' best effort since Wayne's World, even if it's dumb but clever humor more closely resembles Airplane! MacGruber is the rare TV-to-film spoof that wears out its welcome in smaller doses but benefits from a larger platform for its stupidity to run wild.

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans

Director: Werner Herzog
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Eva Mendes, Val Kilmer, Brad Dourif, Xzbit, Fairuza Balk, Jennifer Coolidge
Running Time: 121 min.
Rating: R

★★★ (out of ★★★★)

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans is two hours of Nicolas Cage acting crazy, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. For Cage fans it's a must-see and even his biggest detractors would probably want to check it out just for curiosity's sake. Even though this often hysterical film doesn't have much of a point and fell considerably short of my expectations, I would feel too guilty not recommending it, if only for its insanely high entertainment value. It's so concerned with putting its star in as many jaw-dropping, scenery chewing situations as possible that it forgets we also have to care about the character he's playing and the case he's investigating. It's fun mind you, but in a way it's similar to another remake Cage starred in a few years ago, The Wicker Man, where he ran around in punching women in a bear costume. He could have worn the costume again here with the key difference being that this film's actually made well and almost seems to take itself seriously at times. His work makes up for most of the script's shortcomings.

The film opens in the weeks following Hurricane Katrina, when New Orleans Police Sergeant Terrance McDonagh (Cage) suffers a permanent back injury rescuing a drowning convict. When we see him six months later he's being promoted to lieutenant for his heroic actions, but can barely even function because of his addiction to vicodin and cocaine. Physically and emotionally unfit to handle any investigation, he's naturally assigned the biggest one involving an execution-style multiple homicide involving a local drug kingpin named Big Fate (Alvin "Xzbit" Joiner). He's also gotten himself into a mess with an important client of his hooker girlfriend Frankie (Eva Mendes), owes money to his bookie (Brad Dourif) and is about to be stripped of his badge and gun by the Feds. On top of all that, he has to watch over a teenage witness and care for his alcoholic father and sister (Jennifer Coolidge). A long list of responsibilities when you're strung out 24/7.

The screenplay by William Finkelstein isn't so much concerned about the homicide or exploring character motivation. Maybe it was before Werner Herzog was attached to direct and Cage signed on to star, but it sure isn't now. Nor does bear any resemblance to its namesake, 1992's Bad Lieutenant, starring Harvey Keitel, other than that both center around a corrupt cop. This movie is scene after scene of Nicholas Cage going as far off the deep end as humanly possible. Of course, that's nothing new. He's always accused of overacting but this time he's deliberately doing it so you can just imagine the results. Watch Cage hold up a pharmacy. Watch Cage get high before interrogating a suspect. Watch Cage disconnect an old lady's oxygen supply while threatening her at gunpoint. It goes on and on until finally running its course and it takes a lot longer to run its course than I expected, mainly because Cage is such a strong screen presence, even more so when he's allowed to fly off the rails like this.

By the time the film was over I couldn't even remember the name of the protagonist and I only refer to him here as "Cage," which is revealing when you think about it. You could almost draw a comparison with the criticisms that were leveled against Jack Nicholson for his portrayal of the Joker in 1989's Batman. That it was just Jack being Jack. I disagreed then because I felt the nature of the character called for that kind of over-the-top performance. This is a little different. It's a police procedural that doesn't have anything particularly important to say and little going for it outside of watching Cage lose it on screen. But, honestly, that's a lot. I don't know if it's a great performance but it's definitely a compelling one and there's no way this movie could have worked with another actor in the role. There's an attempt made to flesh out his relationship with Mendes' hooker and while her and Cage are much better together here than they were in Ghost Rider, I can't say there's much emotional investment. Val Kilmer's role as his partner is criminally underwritten and his screen time so minimal you wonder why his name even appears in the credits. It's all about Cage.

Not even upstaged by a pair of charismatic iguanas, he's the entire driving force behind the picture and that's it with everyone else in the plot existing as merely a means for him to act out. By the final third of the movie the case itself (which is so run-of-the mill it could be a Law and Order episode) is all but discarded in favor of watching Cage cut loose as only he can, engaging in behavior completely at odds with the story, but perfectly in sync with the lunatic he's portraying. It's almost as if Herzog said, "Screw it. No one cares about the case anymore anyway." As exhaustive and frustrating as it is, we do root for Terrence's redemption because Cage forces us to.

A big deal was made about the decision to shift the original film's New York setting to post-Katrina New Orleans but the movie could have taken place anywhere and it wouldn't have made the slightest bit of difference. The circumstances surrounding Hurricane Katrina are about as necessary to the story as it was in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, if not less so. And that might be the biggest disappointment of the film for me. While setting it in New Orleans isn't distateful in any way, it feels like key opportunities were missed in conveying the feel of a very specific time and place. But what thankfully isn't lost are the parallels between the city and the protagonist, both of which were faced with tragic circumstances then eaten away by corruption.

Supposedly this film was green lighted without the blessing or support of the original's director, Abel Ferrera, who's gone on record slamming the production. But the film is so over the top and shares so little in common with his that it's hardly worth getting worked up about. If anything, the 1992 film represents exactly the kind of movie that should be remade. Herzog really had the right idea in molding just the shell of the original into a new story that explores different themes and other filmmakers would be wise to keep that approach in mind when adapting from previous works. I'm just still kind of at a loss as to my exact thoughts on the film because it's difficult digesting it as anything other than a guilty pleasure. It really needs another viewing, which I'd give it with very little hesitation. Despite a myriad of problems, Bad Lieutenant is compulsively watchable in a train wreck sort of way.

From The Vault: Batman Forever

Director: Joel Schumacher
Starring: Val Kilmer, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman, Chris O’Donnell, Drew Barrymore, Michael Gough, Pat Hingle, Debi Mazar
Running Time: 122 min.
Rating: PG-13
Release Date: 1995

**1/2 (out of ****)

Riddle me this: What big name director almost single-handedly ruined the Batman franchise over a decade ago? If you answered Joel Schumacher, congratulations. It took me almost 13 years to recover from the trauma of actually seeing this in theaters when it opened in 1995 and calm down enough to finally write this review. I figured it might be fun now to revisit a film I hated years ago and see if anything’s changed at all.

First, the good news. It’s not nearly as bad as I remembered it and this time around I did notice a few things the Batman Forever actually did really well that I had overlooked. Now the bad news. The things about it that didn’t work are still very much there, and one aspect in particular looks worse than I ever remembered it. It’s a performance actually. And it comes from an Academy Award winning actor. That this man is not only still working after giving a performance so awful, but was nominated for Best Actor this year as well as appearing in the year’s Best Picture, should be considered a miracle. He deserves credit for that at least. I don’t know many other actors whose reputations could survive giving a performance so mind blowingly terrible.

In a bizarre way, Batman Forever works for what it is: A joke. And I do think it works better now as one than it did 13 years ago. For those who found Burton’s versions too dark and depressing (I didn’t) and are searching for an alternative take on "The Dark Knight" this fits the bill. For Batman purists, however, it can’t be viewed as anything other than an abomination (although I do know a few diehards who love it). But on the bright side, at least it isn’t boring or uninteresting.

It’s worth noting that the DVD I’m reviewing isn’t the 2-disc Collectors Edition that was released in 2005 as part of the entire Batman series box set. Rather this is the crappy, bare bones, double-sided full screen and widescreen single disc edition that came out in 1997. I’m mentioning that because the DVD transfer is absolutely terrible and for a film whose primary assets are visual it made the viewing a more unpleasant experience than it should have been I’m sure. The colors are a little washed out and I could even swear the print was scratched (and this film isn’t THAT old). It looked more like Planet Terror than Batman Forever. For anyone who actually enjoyed the film (show of hands?) and owns this edition, without even viewing the other I can tell you it’s worth the upgrade. I’m disappointed because I was really curious to get Schumacher’s explanation for some of the nonsense he inflicted upon us.

I remember reading a review of this a while back that complained that you shouldn’t be able to tell a director’s sexual preference just by watching their film. That’s very funny…and also very true. All joking aside, it is interesting to analyze the decisions Schumacher made and his possible reasoning behind them. Although Tim Burton handed over the directorial reins to Schumacher he stayed on as a producer, but how much input he actually had in this effort we’ll never know. My guess is very little. In a questionable decision, Schumacher completely did away with Danny Elfman’s score from the Burton movies, but I thought it was the right call. It wouldn’t have fit this material and Elliot Goldenthal’s score here works. There’s no sense picking a fight over that.

The most controversial decision surrounded the casting of a stoic (some would say wooden) Val Kilmer as Bruce Wayne/Batman because the fantastic Michael Keaton wisely passed on returning for a third outing. When I first saw the film I absolutely hated Kilmer’s performance with a passion but now seeing it again I realize he did the best he could in a thankless situation. He’s okay in the role and appropriately brooding when he needs to be, which is all the time. I’d rank his performance below Keaton’s (which I still believe is the definitive portrayal) and Bale’s but I’d have to see George Clooney’s interpretation again to determine how it ranks against that. Matching it up against Adam West’s seems a little ridiculous since that’s a whole different animal altogether. Kilmer does probably look the best in the actual costume and it’s an interesting factoid that Batman creator Bob Kane has said that of all the actors who have donned the bat suit, Kilmer is actually his favorite.

The plot of Batman Forever concerns Batman’s attempts to rescue a very colorful Gotham City from Two-Face (Tommy Lee Jones), who was previously known as District Attorney Harvey Dent before half his face was burned and horrifically disfigured by acid (which we see in a 15 second flashback). He’s joined by Edward E. Nigma a.k.a. The Riddler (Jim Carrey) a mad scientist employed by Wayne enterprises who goes off the deep end. Batman is joined in his fight against villainy by the young Dick Grayson (Chris O’Donnell) who has his sights set on Two-Face after he murdered his acrobatic circus performing parents in cold blood. He eventually takes on the moniker of Robin, but his role in this film is considerably less important than you may expect given the ads and the posters. Nicole Kidman is Dr. Chase Meridian, a clinical psychiatrist with a dual interest in Bruce Wayne and Batman, but not necessarily in that order.

Chris O’ Donnell has taken a thrashing for years for his performance as Robin, but really he’s perfect and this character is one of the few things this movie gets completely right. No one would have been a better fit for the part and I’m not sure what else people expected from him that he didn’t give. The scene where Two-Face kills his family (a big change from the comic) is the most effective of the film and he does a good job establishing his role in very little time. Another memorable scene where he steals the Batmobile and goes for a joyride is a clever idea that plays well. The only problem is that because Kilmer’s Batman/Bruce Wayne is fairly young he’s not quite believable as an older mentor to Robin. They seem more like equals both, joined by the murder of their parents at the hands of career criminals. The only remaining links left to Burton’s films are Pat Hingle’s Commissioner Gordon and Michael Gough’s Alfred. Alfred is actually better utilized here than in Burton’s efforts and gets in some good one-liners. Sure, he’s no Michael Caine, but who is?

As big a fan as I am of everything Burton did with the franchise I have to admit Schumacher did one thing better. Nicole Kidman’s Dr. Chase Meridian completely blows Kim Basinger’s Vicky Vale out of the water as Batman’s love interest. First of all, my god does Kidman look amazing in this. I’d go as far as to say this probably the hottest female character you’re ever likely to see in a superhero movie. And to think the idiots at Warner Brothers actually resisted Schumacher’s attempts to cast Kidman, claiming she wasn’t sexy enough. I can’t imagine anyone not wanting to be trapped in the Batcave with her. But the character herself is interesting as well. She has feelings for both Batman and Bruce Wayne but can’t seem to reconcile either of them. And Bruce doesn’t really know how he should feel about it. Happy? Jealous? That’s how conflicted this guy is. It’s pretty funny to have a love interest whose only real goal in the movie is to screw Batman. You can’t tell me we’ve seen something like that before. Kidman is known for making strange, risk-taking film choices (even more so now) so it’s ironic that in even her most mainstream vehicle she still finds a way to make her role completely insane. She’s the real star of this movie.

The major problems in the film are with the villains and considering they eat up most of the screen time it does create a big issue. Jim Carry was hot off the heels of the success of Dumb and Dumber and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective when he was cast in the role of The Riddler and it was, for the most part, a good choice. He’s clearly basing his performance on Frank Gorshin’s from the 1960’s television series and I can’t say that was a wrong way to go. I just wish he turned it down a notch and Oscar winner Akiva Goldsmith’s script didn’t contain so much of that mad scientist garbage at the beginning of the film. Can anyone explain to me what that brain sucking machine The Riddler created is even supposed to do? With those boxes in every home and people glued to their TV sets the entire silly premise brought back bad memories of Halloween III: Season of The Witch.

We know which team Schumacher plays for (not that there’s anything wrong with that), but was it really necessary to deck The Riddler out in eyeliner and mascara? He looked more like a drag queen than a criminal mastermind. Supposedly, Robin Williams was the original choice to play the role and I’m actually glad he didn’t get it. If Carrey was just a notch over-the-top than Williams would have needed a cage to contain his overacting. We dodged a bullet there. It’s a shame that Carrey guy never really went on to do anything else. I’m kidding of course. He went on to have a very respectable career… dressing as an elephant and shilling his movies on American Idol.

Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face is a complete disaster and nearly ruins the entire film. If Carrey was basing his Riddler on Gorshin than Jones was basing his Two-Face on Jack Nicholson’s Joker. Except he was trying to copy it, incorporating only the worst elements of that performance. With his annoying cackle and garish attire every second he’s on screen is nothing short of pure torture. Schumacher also felt it would be a good idea to give him a really pretty, colorful disfigurement because we all know how beautiful it looks when your badly burned face matches your suit. If Oscars were given for the worst achievement in costume and make-up this film would have them locked up. Not surprisingly, the "genius" make-up artist behind this endeavor is Rick Baker who you may recall from his Oscar-nominated work…in Norbit.

Besides rushing through Two-Face’s story arc too quickly and giving us virtually no backstory on him, serious creative liberties were taken as well, all of which hurt the character. In the comic he was known for his signature coin toss, which fatefully controls all of his evil decision-making. Here, like a petulant infant, he tosses the coin incessantly until he gets the desired result. Anton Sigurh this guy most definitely is not. He also has some arm candy to go along with his two personalities in Sugar and Spice (Drew Barrymore and Debi Mazar respectively). Barrymore looks good but barely has a single line of dialogue the entire film. Although he’s supposed to be the lead villain, Jones just ends up playing lackey to Carrey’s substantially more entertaining Riddler for most of the film.

The one saving grace of Two-Face (SPOILER AHEAD!) is that he meets a final, conclusive demise at the end, eliminating any chance of Tommy Lee Jones returning. The alternate ending which saw Two-Face sitting at the kitchen table with his wife complaining about how crime in Gotham city has passed him by as the screen fades to black was apparently rejected. I remember reading an interview with Jones a few months back where he first learned that Aaron Eckhart would be taking over the role of Harvey Dent a.k.a. Two-Face in this summer’s The Dark Knight. When asked if he was ever interested in reprising the role he answered simply: "No." It’s a relief that he has just as little interest playing the role again as I do seeing him in it. I’ve been so traumatized by his work in the film that my heart sank when I heard Two-Face was returning in any incarnation for a sequel, even though Eckhart could probably sleep walk through the role and still fare better than Jones. I just have no interest in seeing that character ever again. The sad part of it is that if The Riddler were just toughened up a little and Two-Face was excised from the movie entirely we could have really had something here.

This is just a guess but it seems Schumacher was going for the campy feel of the 60’s TV show with this movie. If he was he failed because even the worst episode of that terrific show was slightly better than this. He took those campy tendencies to new heights with his sequel, 1997’s Batman and Robin. Compared to that this almost looks restrained. And the title of this film I’ll never understand. Batman…Forever? It sounds like a musical. What’s scarier was there was actually another Schumacher helmed sequel planned that would have been called…Batman Triumphant. Who comes up with these titles? With his gigantic set pieces, bat-suits with nipples and rainbow color schemes Schumacher’s primary goal was to sell a lot of toys and make tons of money. Second on the agenda was making a good movie. That he almost accomplished the latter could be chalked up as an accident. I realize now that Schumacher is really guilty of only one crime: Going too far.

Amazingly, this film scored three Academy Award nominations for Best Cinematography, Best Sound Effects Editing and Best Sound, the most of any Batman film to date. It kills me to admit it but those nominations weren’t necessarily undeserved, as it’s a great looking and sounding film. Schumacher was trying to stage a full-on assault on our senses and provide an amusement park thrill ride, so to that end this could be considered a success. It’s surprisingly well-paced and ends before you even know it started, never dragging once during its two hour running time. It played much better for me this time, but as tempting as it may be, I still can’t recommend it because, well, it’s just not a very good movie. I will say this is a better film than Bryan Singer’s Superman Returns, but that doesn’t mean I’m eager to give Schumacher a third chance to redeem himself.

The biggest revelation to come out of my re-watching of Batman Forever was that I didn’t hate it. Maybe I’ve just softened with age or it could be that because Christopher Nolan has successfully resurrected the franchise I’m able to put my bitterness toward the film behind me and put it in its proper historical context. It can now be viewed as an interesting cinematic curiosity and an alternative interpretation of an iconic character. Tilda Swinton’s hilarious Oscar acceptance speech this year got me thinking about Schumacher’s Batman films again and made me wonder how history will judge them and him. It’s never good when your movies have become the punch line of an Oscar joke. And in case you were wondering, yes, I am eventually planning to review Batman and Robin, with a very special emphasis on George Clooney’s performance.

Schumacher survived this, but that’s not to say his career ever fully recovered. He went on to direct solid features like Tigerland and Phone Booth and not so solid ones like The Number 23 starring his old pal Jim Carrey. Looking at the glass as half-full, we can thank Schumacher for his mistakes because without them we probably wouldn’t be enjoying the emergence of more serious superhero movies like Batman Begins and the upcoming Iron Man and The Dark Knight films. Unfortunately, the negative effects of his work can still be seen on films like The Fantastic Four series. His greatest contribution is that by turning Batman into a joke he unintentionally caused us to appreciate what makes superhero films special to begin with…at least the ones not directed by him.