Monday, February 23, 2015

Burning Questions From The 2015 Oscars

Well, here we go again. Let's get on with it. My reaction to the show, in question form.

Didn't the stage setup actually look kind of cool this year with all the Oscar statues?

Were you worried some of them might attack?

NPH didn't waste any time with his "best and whitest" joke did he?

Tough room, huh?

Does Oprah's mere presence guarantee the Oscar host will be in for a rough night?

Shouldn't we ask David Letterman?

Isn't Jack Black looking more and more like late career Orson Welles?

Looking at that stone-faced audience, is it any wonder no one ever wants to host this thing?

Wasn't J.K. Simmons right about calling (NOT texting) your parents?

If he screamed it in character as Terence Fletcher, then would you listen?

Didn't everyone just know The Grand Budapest Hotel would handily clean up in technical categories? 

Need we even ask if the show's rushing or dragging?

Don't you wish Adam Levine would sing just a little higher?

Why not bring out Keira Knightley to join him?

Why not show clips from Begin Again in the background?

Did they really shorten that song or what?

Playing winners off already?

How about NPH's poorly timed wardrobe joke after documentary short co-winner Dana Perry spoke about her son's suicide?

Were Seth MacFarlane, Anne Hathaway and James Franco off somewhere secretly breathing sighs of relief?

Was that proof this telecast can destroy anyone?

Wasn't the "Everything is Awesome" performance awesome?

Could Oprah look any happier receiving her Lego Oscar?

Can you blame her?

Was it the only time she smiled all night?

Where's Tommy Lee Jones when you need him?

Is Glen Campbell's "I'm Not Gonna Miss You" the saddest song ever?  

Was the Birdman spoof funnier a day earlier on the Independent Spirit Awards?

But wasn't Miles Teller on drums a clever touch?

Are you hoping NPH was paid well for this?

Like how they grouped the Best Picture clips together to "save time?"

How many of you were able to accurately predict those two sound categories (and miss most everything else) like I did?

Can The Rock host the show next year?

Did Twitter nearly explode with Joker and Jesus references when Jared Leto came up to present?

Did Patricia Arquette turn that podium into her pulpit or what?

Wouldn't Marlon Brando be proud?

Did you see how excited the "underpaid " Meryl Streep was? 

Wasn't it nice to see someone in the audience excited about SOMETHING?

Does "rushing or dragging" accurately describe the ongoing battle between the winners and orchestra?

Did you notice the crowd was completely emotionless, pissed at NPH, or crying throughout the entire show?

Has a room ever taken itself as seriously?

Wasn't that a classy, simple In Memoriam intro from Streep?

Were you relieved they decided to turn off audience sound down on the death montage this year?

Wait, where was Joan Rivers?!!!

Wasn't Rivers' entire brand synonymous with the Oscars?

Do we really need a musical performance either before, during or after the montage?

Was Whiplash's editing win well deserved or what?

Have I ever been happier to get a category wrong?

Didn't NPH's "for some treason" joke explaining Edward Snowden's absence deserve a bigger laugh?

Or ANY laugh at all from this humorless audience? 

Did the surprise wins for Big Hero 6 and Interstellar ruin everyone's scorecard for the night?

Even if it got twice the time as the other nominated songs, wasn't Common and John Legend's performance of "Glory" the high point of the night?

Glom Gazingo?

Wasn't NPH right about John Travolta's excessive face touching of Idina Menzel?

And as hilariously comfortable as that was to watch, wasn't it a great idea to pair them up to present?

Doesn't he more closely resemble Glom Gazingo than John Travolta at this point?

Can we at least give him credit for being what so few in that audience were...a good sport?

Who better embodies the spirit of The Sound of Music than Lady Gaga?

Were you hoping she'd come out with The Muppets?

Even with the knowledge she's talented, didn't she sing that shockingly well? 

Weren't we too late in the broadcast and too spent to even care?

Did you hear the uncontrollable audience laughter at Julie Andrews saying the name "Lady Gaga?"

How about Terrence Howard getting emotional over introducing The Imitation Game?

Wouldn't it be great if every presenter cared that much?

Eddie Murphy... again?

Were you worried Eddie Murphy would refuse to read the nominees and signal for a commercial break?

Was this show longer than SNL 40?

Did having the new Batman present Best Director give away a Birdman win?

Did Inarritu really just talk about balls and "little pricks" in his acceptance speech?

As disappointing as his loss was, isn't it still great that Michael Keaton's officially

Doesn't Eddie Redmayne's wife look like a cross between Evan Rachel Wood and Saoirse Ronan?

Did that make it even more difficult to root for him against Keaton?

Has anyone (other than Cuba Gooding Jr. and Anne Hathaway) ever looked happier to win an Oscar?

Was he channeling his Jupiter Ascending character for a second there? 

Was Julianne Moore played up to the stage by a theme song from an 80's sitcom?

Is that really Still Alice's score (please say yes)?

If it is, should I see that film immediately?

Will the show close with NPH singing the love theme to Still Alice?

Am I the only one who thought his gag with the predictions was funny?

Was Sean Penn's Best Picture announcement the most offensive since Jack Nicholson uttered the words "And the Oscar goes to...Crash" in 2006?

Is Birdman the strangest film in recent memory (or ever?) to win Best Picture?

Isn't it weird that was the conventional, consensus pick? 

Isn't it even weirder Academy members voted for it because it's about "show business?"

Isn't that kind of the last thing it's about?

Is it the film that can break the Best Picture winner's curse and age well?

Isn't it inevitable NPH will be unfairly blamed for whatever went wrong on the show?

Doesn't this telecast confirm that the problems with the Oscars go far beyond whoever is chosen to host?

Do we even need a host?

How long until those online articles start popping up calling for a complete overhaul of the show?

Aside from Carell, Streep, Cumberbatch, Knightley, Keaton and a few others, can we maybe replace the audience next year?

Will I ever learn to stop tinkering with my predictions right up until the start of the show? 

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