Monday, February 28, 2011

Burning Questions From The Oscars

Why does the Red Carpet pre-show seem to feel longer each year? (despite me only catching 10 minutes of it)

Did the opening montage finally confirm it was a good idea to go to 10 nominees?

Or at least that they mostly picked the right movies?

Inception is getting pretty popular to spoof on awards shows isn't it?

Did that opening spoof confirm that this is Franco's show and Hathaway's just along for the ride?

Is there a cooler guy on the planet than James Franco?

Am I the only one relieved that Hathaway and Franco are still considered "young" by today's TV demographic standards?

Was Tom Hanks' Oscar history lesson supposed to be an ugly foreshadowing of what would occur later with The King's Speech?

Did I breath a sigh of relief when Alice in Wonderland took Art Direction instead of The King's Speech?

Did I ever think I'd breath a sigh of relief when Alice Wonderland won anything?

Wally Pfistser for Inception?!

Did anyone see that one coming?

Did you know this makes Pfister the first graduate of my high school to win an Academy Award?

Would you have had to attend my high school to grasp how big an accomplishment that actually is?

How awesome was it that Kirk Douglas milked the announcement of the winner for as long as humanly possible?

Should we insert the obligatory Sally Field "You Like Me, You really like me!" joke in here for Melissa Leo's win?

Should we be thrilled it at least went to someone we know for sure wanted and appreciated it?

Did they regret giving it to her after she dropped the f bomb?

Does this mean we can now officially "CONSIDER" her an Oscar winner?

Will I ever get Animated Short right?

Was there any doubt that Sorkin would (justifiably) win adapted screenplay?

And isn't it the best script to win in a long, long time?

Wasn't it cool he mentioned Network?

Who would have guessed he's a fast talker?

Did anyone else think that Nolan possibly had a shot at Screenplay after Inception shockingly won cinematography? (Yeah, me neither)

Is anyone else tired of hosts singing at the Oscars (no matter how well they do it)?

Didn't Franco look scary as a woman?

Did he look as scary as Russell Brand does clean shaven?

Wasn't Franco's Charlie Sheen joke pretty funny?

Wouldn't any Sheen joke be funny at this point?

Can we give Christian Bale's beard get a separate award for its performance over the past two months?

Wasn't the orchestra's take on The Fighter music kind of catchy?

Doesn't "Academy Award Winner Trent Reznor" sound great?

Have I ever been happier to get a prediction wrong?

Was I wrong in kind of hoping TRON: Legacy would win SOMETHING, even if it's just in sound?

Who would have thought that at any point in the night Inception would be leading in Oscar wins?

Was I thrilled that almost an hour and a half into this that The King's Speech only had one win?

Wasn't it cruel of them to get my hopes up like that?

Shouldn't Kevin Spacey host the Oscars already?

As brief as they were, weren't you glad they went back to performing the Original Song nominees again?

Especially when one of them is performed by Mandy Moore?

And doesn't that beat last year's interpretive dance routine for... The Hurt Locker?

Wasn't that the truth when Gyllenhaal said that shorts were the toughest category to predict on your ballots?

Did you have your fingers crossed for an Exit Through The Gift Shop win like I did?

Seriously, shouldn't it have been nominated for Best Picture? 

Doesn't it suck that we'll never know what Oprah would have done had Banksy showed up?

Where was James Franco the entire show?

Did the Henley rowing sequence alone confirm The Social Network should win Best Editing?

Hasn't Jennifer Hudson lost way too much weight?

Nothing against Florence but why didn't Dido perform "If I Rise?"

Wasn't Paltrow's vocal performance underwhelming?

Didn't Hathwaway sound better?

Isn't it surreal in all the wrong ways having to see Dennis Hopper in the "In Memorium" tribute montage?

Will I be wondering how voters can sleep at night knowing they gave Fincher's Oscar to Tom Hooper?

Seriously, Tom Hooper?

Does this mean Fincher will have to wait decades to be rewarded for a lesser film?

Wasn't it nice that they had Jeff Bridges actually say something about the actress's performances and substantial clips were shown?

Wow, how different does Jennifer Lawrence look from the character she played?

Doesn't Michelle Williams eerily resemble Mia Farrow with that haircut?

Did I just accidentally give Hollywood another remake idea?

Is Williams the only actress in that category you can legitimately say will be back soon as a nominee and mean it?

Safe for me to say it's unlikely Portman will be returning to that podium again as anything other than a presenter?

That said, didn't she still really deserve this?

Should she also receive an honorary Oscar for her work as an uncredited script consultant on The Social Network?

How sad is it that a win for an actress I don't even care for is my favorite of the night?

Now that she's officially won does this mean my complicated, bi-polar love/hate feelings for her come to an end?

Or at least temporarily subside until Your Highness is released?

How great is it that they referenced Franco's General Hospital stint twice during the night?

Wouldn't it have been even greater if they showed clips?

Isn't it ironic that the two big winners from The King's Speech both gave incredibly boring speeches?

Should anyone not named Alanis Morisette ever ask a question that begins with the phrase "Isn't it ironic...?"

Did you recognize the music Spielberg came out to as John Williams' incredible Jurassic Park score?

Can you believe that score wasn't even nominated in '93?!

After this show can we even really be surprised by that?

How great was it for Spielberg to apologize in advance for The King's Speech winning?

But isn't he right that losing just might be the best thing for The Social Network?

Was there a need to play dialogue from The King's Speech over all the other contenders?

Could they have been any more obvious?

Is it fair to say Hathaway and Franco won't be asked back next year?

Didn't Hathaway seem to be trying too hard all night?

Should this be a lesson to producers that doing mean impersonations of actresses on Saturday Night Live doesn't necessarily qualify someone to host the Academy Awards?

Or play Catwoman?

Would my ideal alternate ending of the show be a Social Network Best Picture win followed by that kids' choir covering Radiohead's "Creep?"

Does it even makes sense to hire "younger, hipper" hosts if a film like The King's Speech will just end up dominating?

Wouldn't it make more sense to recruit "younger, hipper" Academy members instead?

All things considered, didn't the show at least move faster than usual?

Don't I say that every year?

Am I kind of glad this whole thing's over?

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